Tuesday, October 11, 2011

MIA! and the terrible horrible no good very bad day last week

Let me just appologize to my blog stalkers! I can't believe it has been almost a month since the last time I blogged out here.  I won't make excuses for myself so let's just jump into why I came here tonight to blog.

So last week... Tuesday, was the most terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day I've had in a very LONG TIME.

I'll try to make this short... but it will more than likely turn out long.

So on Monday night I went to bed with a pain in one of my sides, under my right rib.  I couldn't sleep very well, couldn't get comfortable... wasn't sure what the problem was.  I figured if I just went to sleep that the pain would be better by morning time (didn't feel like gas pains but I thought maybe it could "pass" while I was sleeping).  In the morning the pain was actually worse to the point of me in tears.  This pain was now on both sides and had now moved up to my chest, making it hard to breathe.  I knew it wasn't anything baby related because the baby is down low.  So I googled it and searched to find out what was wrong with me.  I determined that it might be my gallbladder or a gallstone.  They said in many places online that it seems to show up in pregnant women more.  I called and made myself a doctors appointment that morning.

I went into the doctor's office at 8:45am.  I didn't see the doctor until about 10:30am.  He checked me out and asked me questions, checked the baby heartbeat (which was fine) and decided to do a gallbladder ultrasound.  He asked me a few more questions and we talked and he decided that since I was having a hard time breathing that he would go ahead and send me downstairs to the ER (this is a women's hospital/doctors office).  So I went in around 10:45am to the ER and they ran blood tests and monitored me for a while. 

The ER doctor came in and said that my blood tests came back fine and that she figured it was just indigestion.  I asked, "then why am I having a hard time breathing?"  She said to come back tomorrow and go to the outpatient ultrasound people for a gallbladder ultrasound.  They gave me a prescription for some strong acid blocker (like prilosec), and some nausea medicine and sent me on my way (oh and she gave me a mallox shot to drink... which did NOTHING but make my throat numb).

So I was a little pissed that I would be in this pain for at least another day before figuring out what was wrong with me!

I went home to rest and my husband went to get my car and prescription filled.


HERE'S WHERE THE STORY GETS WORSE

I was asleep for a little while when I got a phone call from my daycare.  I ignored it because I couldn't talk and called my husband after they called again for the second time (leaving no voice-mail).  I figured it was my youngest child having diarea again and we would have to go pick her up (just what I needed, right).  Well my husband never called me back and I think I went back to sleep.

About an hour later I get a phone call from some number I wasn't sure of and I answered it.  It was someone from daycare asking me if I knew that Lauren (my youngest) was still at the daycare and that my husband got on the ambulance with Conner (my oldest) to go to the hospital....

WAIT?  WHAT?

I jumped out of bed (pain doesn't matter at this point, right) and started pacing around the house asking the person on the phone questions, calling my husband, calling someone to go get my little one so I could go to the hospital... I was in panic mode.  NEITHER of my children have been to the hospital since coming into this world.

I went to get Lauren and the teacher told me what happened to Conner.

He started after nap (I think) not feeling good and had a fever.  Within a couple of hours (or less) his fever spiked up to 106! She said that she looked over at him and noticed that he didn't look like him anymore.  She called his name and then saw his eyes roll back in his head and he clenched up and had a seizure!  A SEIZURE!  He has never had one before. 

So I got Lauren and rushed to the hospital.  The poor thing was so tired and so out of it in the hospital bed.  He had an iv and it was so sad to see him that way.  They did a CT scan, chest X-ray, blood tests, and probably other things to figure out what was wrong with him and what caused him to seizure.  Oh and they put this little bag on him to catch the pee.  Conner didn't like that and wanted it off.  After a while he took it off and I asked for a cup for him to pee in.  I was a proud mama that the child peed in a cup (silly, right?).  It took me 5 minutes to convince him to pee in the big cup.  I think he was pretty proud too... then fell back to sleep.  He was in and out of sleep most of our time there.

All of the tests came back fine (no tumor, white blood count was fine, not the flu, etc.).  RELIEF!  So what caused the seizure?  We learned from one of the doctors that what happened was because his fever spiked so high so quickly he had what they call a "febrile" seizure.  Meaning- children between the ages of 6 months to 6 years might run the risk of having this type of seizure.  It isn't because the fever got so high, it's because of how quickly it got that high.  It was his way of his body shutting it down or fighting it off.  I was told my his pediatrician the next day that if it happens again I don't have to take him to the hospital, that I can monitor it at home.  He said it may never happen again. 

So, from now on, whenever this child runs a fever, there will be tylenol on hand to be given right away.  I told my daycare to give it to him the minute they see that he's running a fever.

We left the hospital at 11pm that night.  They gave him a big dose of this anitibiotic (one doctor thought it was strep, one thought it was a virus, they treated him for strep even though the test said it was fine- there's a 50/50 chance the swab didn't catch the strep... or something like that).  Bt the time we got home, Conner was ready to play, watch movies, etc.  He was back to normal!

So I was in some doctor's office or hospital from 8:45am until 11:00pm that day.

What a wacky day.

I am just glad I have parents in town that jumped up to help with no questions.  My parents showed up to the hospital within minutes of me getting there, saw Conner and took Lauren home with them to spend the night! So, thanks mom and dad!

Oh and me- what was wrong with me?  INDIGESTION I guess.  I didn't get to take my "acid blocker" pill until I got home that night.  By the next morning, I was feeling about 90% better.

SO!  That's what I get for eating CRAP the past few weeks!  NO MORE CHIPS AND CHEESE AND CRAP for me!  I have started to try and attempt to eat better since that happened!  It's my own darn fault for feeling the way I did and boy I deserved the pain!  I never thought indigestion could feel that bad.  I didn't go to my ultrasound because I was feeling better.  So really, I don't know if it was indigestion but my guess is because of the acid blocker doing the trick that it must have been.

The moral of the story?  I dunno- don't eat crap and hug your children and tell them you love them.  Even though we both came out fine that day.... things could have been worse. 

Until we meet again...

Monday, September 12, 2011

EYE OPENER!

Bleh, so today was my first doctors appointment.  I didn't see a doctor at all.  I saw the bill person, nutritionist person, and lab tech.  Easy peasy. 

Good news- blood pressure looked good and she said it was perfect (didn't tell me my numbers).  Usually my blood pressure is high.  I wonder if losing weight affects your blood pressure? 

Bad news- didn't get to see a doctor to hear heartbeat yet, had to pee in a cup, and my weight is UP! 

Bleh!  I knew it was and was avoiding the scale because I knew I had gained weight.  What I didn't realize is just how much I have gained since finding out I was pregnant. 

I don't feel like admitting how much weight I've gained or what I actually weigh... but maybe being honest will help wake me up and slap my butt into gear.

Truth is I weight 189!  Yes it was at the end of the day, on a loaded bladder... but that wouldn't change things much.  :/  I feel so pissed at myself.

I'm now in my work out gear ready to tackle this weight issue.  I'm sure um like 1 pound could be all the gas I now have, 1 pound could be baby (yeah right), and ummm the rest... ME!  I am now determined to get my butt out there and run until I fall.

Going to get the big boy to bed, put on my running shoes, turn on Michael Jackson on my ipod, and hit the concrete.  Wish me luck. 

Saturday, September 10, 2011

I walked the other day...

So the last time I blogged I said I was going to get up and put my workout clothes and shoes on as a start.  Well after I posted, I got up and put my gear on.  After getting the kids to bed I forced myself to go for a walk/run.  I did it!  I had to hold my pants up the entire time I ran because they kept sliding down.  I guess it's time for a size smaller... though I'm sure in a few months they will be back on me with an ever growing belly.

I haven't walked since and I keep eating crap.  I have GOT to do something!  I get frusterated at myself but it is my fault if I gain weight back and it's my fault alone if I fall completely off the weight loss wagon.

I am hoping that after the first stage of this pregnancy is over that I can get back up and do something.  I have been sick, tired, and if I eat a little constantly I feel ok.  So that's what I've been doing, eating constantly.  Not everything I put in my mouth is crap, but whatever doesn't make me want to throw up ends up going in.  :)  I have noticed that if I eat a yogurt and a banana in the morning that I feel better until lunch.  I didn't do that today and I've felt off.  Could be a fluke but whatever helps I'm going to try.

I am now home for the weekend and good thing it's the weekend because I'm sick sick sick.  I went to be last night crying a little because my throat hurt so darn bad.  I woke up this morning to the same soreness but after having some hot tea (decaf) it soothed it enough for a while.

I feel like I'm already starting to show.  I mean, it's only been a year and a half since I was last pregnant, my body knows what to do with this 3rd one.  I asked another friend who's pregnant with her 3rd how far along she was when she started to notice and she said about 2 and a half months.  I'll be 10 weeks tomorrow.  So I'm sure I'm going to start wearing maternity clothing soon.

What a great feeling is that my size 14's are still a bit big on me.  :)  I really notice in my legs and butt how lose things fit. 

I'm sure I'm gaining weight.  I mean I can't go from eating 1000 calories or so to not counting and eating more and NOT gain weight.  I will make a big effort this week to make sure the things that go in my mouth are healthy and not crap.  I am going to start forcing myself to work out at least 2-3 times a week.  That would be a start in the right direction and I know I need to get back into things.

What really makes me a bit inspired are the people I inspired to start doing something about their health and life.  What really makes me happy is when I hear about friends who are losing weight and working out because of me.  How can I let them down by gaining all my weight back?  How can I let them down by eating crap and not caring and giving up?  I can't and I won't so I must get back up on the horse and ride.

They say (Oh like Dr. Oz or something) not to start a diet on Monday for some reason but I think I may challenge myself to start back on a more strict healthy diet and exercise on Monday. 

My first doctors appointment is on Monday.  So maybe by the next time I go, I will have lost weight instead of gaining.  :) 

Anyway, don't give up fat people, keep it up.  Reach down inside of you and find that inner skinny person that wants to come out and fight for your life, your health, and your happiness. 

As for me, I need to listen to my own darn advice and do something.  Just because I'm pregnant doesn't mean I can't continue to be healthy and lose weight.  So somehow I've got to reach down deep inside me and make a change.... I hope that I can do that soon...

Until we meet again...

Sunday, September 4, 2011

Not running tomorrow...

Well I have decided that I will not be running in my 5K I signed up for a while back tomorrow.  :/  I haven't worked out in a while and just don't want to look like a fool.  I feel like crap and have absolutely no energy. Oh and what wonderful weather it would have been too.  So many people said, "It's going to be too hot!" But looks like the weather tomorrow is in the 70's!  REALLY?  It has been in the 90's for forever!

I'm going to try and get my ass up and walk in a couple of hours.  I may just go ahead and get my workout clothes on so I won't have an excuse later.

I gave myself an excuse the other day because I had left my ipod at school and wouldn't have music so I didn't go.  LAME!

I brought it home the next day so I wouldn't have that lame excuse again.

I keep getting a twinge of desire to get my butt into gear and get back out there.  I'm sure that will make me feel better... if I don't throw up on myself.  I have a constant feeling of nausea.  That sucks!

So I'm 9 weeks today.  I'm ready for this 1st trimester to be over.  I feel so out of it and have no energy whatsoever.  I'm done feeling this way for sure. 

I am done with the lame excuses.  I am done blaming my lack of working out on being pregnant.  I'm done blaming my terrible eating habits on being pregnant. 

So something must change in me.  Lately every time I post, I tell you at the end that I am going to get up and work out and then I do nothing.  What a good lier I am huh? 

Well I am not going to say that I WILL workout today but I will say that I am going to put my workout clothes on in hopes that I can convince myself to do something.

Children- though this is my "losing weight motivational blog" (Sorry it hasn't been that... but it will again be this some day), I wanted to just mention the two children I have for a minute.  Usually I am DONE being a mother by this time on a Sunday and look forward to sending them to daycare.  The past week (maybe more maybe less) I have seen my children as CUTE and incredibly loveable, huggable, squeezable.  Yes at times I am ready for their nap or bed time but lately I just can't stand how stinkin cute they are.  Everything they do is so sweet.  Maybe it's the pregnancy?  Maybe I'm being sentimental?  I don't know what it is but I feel such joy and happiness from my children and can't help but want to be around them.  I have a feeling that it's the hormones running through my body causing me to be all emotional.  Either way, I love my children and wouldn't trade them for anything in this world.

Oh and did I mention that my sister just had her 4th child.  Seeing that baby and holding that 7 pound itty bitty sure did help me feel a twinge of excitement for what's to come.  I mean, I can't be upset about it much longer.  I must embrace what's to come and some how get over the fact that this child that wasn't planned and wasn't meant to be... will be and this child will be loved.  :)

Ok, so time to go get my darn workout outfit on... let's hope it still fits!  :)  WISH ME LUCK!


Friday, August 26, 2011

GOTTA GET OUT OF THIS FUNK!

I keep saying this but I have really got to get out of this funk I'm in.  Yes I'm pregnant but that doesn't mean I can't keep working out, keep eating right, and keep losing weight! 

I'm so stinkin' tired that by the time I get home I CRASH!  I've been going to sleep before my 4 year old I think almost every night this week! 

I know that if I just put my darn shoes on and head outside that I'll have enough energy to walk for 30-60 minutes.  It's just getting the darn shoes on. 

Maybe me blogging about it will help get me out of this funk.  I've got a great support group around me that keeps cheering me on and telling me that I can do it and for me to think about how healthy I have become and how easy this pregnancy will be now that I'm 30 pounds lighter and in shape!

I had someone ask me today if I had lost even more weight.  NOPE!  I haven't gone down in a while.  But I can really tell a difference in the size of my legs.  I am a solid 14 but the jeans I was wearing yesterday were baggy in my legs.  I remember putting them on at the beginning of the summer and I couldn't buckle them and the butt and legs were way to tight!  So, I sure don't want to gain and change back to the way I was.  I want to keep making progress... maybe a little slower now... but still progress FORWARD, not backward.

So, I can do it.  I can do it..... I WILL DO IT! 

Today I was driving past my usual walking route and I could feel the way I feel when I'm out there walking/running.  It's too dark to get out there now tonight but tomorrow my goal is to go walking.  One day at a time.  I can do it.  I have to do it.  I have this 5K to run and I don't want to be a quitter and not make it.  I will get my ass up and walk/run tomorrow!  I've gotta start somewhere and I think tomorrow's a good time to start! 

Told the husband to bring home saltine crackers and pickles.  I think that's the only way I'm going to survive this first trimester of pregnancy.  I'm feeling so super nauseous and SMELLS are really getting to me.  Today we were in a meeting 1/2 day at school and everyone was making different flavored coffees and I wanted to PUKE.  It wasn't bad smelling, it was just TOO MUCH SMELL! 

Well I'm off to eat dinner and go to bed!  Tomorrow will be a good day, I will go walking and I will get out of the darn funk I'm in!

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

And then there were three!

Well Hello Blogging world, it's been a while.  I have been busy with school and other things in my life that I haven't had much time to sit down and blog.

Where do I start?  Let's go back to a few weeks ago when I mentioned that I was going to the doctor to get on birth control.

The day started normal, I drank a protein shake, got ready, and headed out the door (after dropping the kids off at daycare) to my doctor for my yearly pap smear (such a lovely word huh?) and to see about getting back on birth control and my ADD medicine.

I saw the doctor and she asked the usual girly questions and then said, "When was your last menstral period?"  I replied with, "July 3rd, I'm a few days late, but I was a few days late last month too, I'm losing weight and that could be part of it."  So she says, "If I'm going to put you on birth control, we'd better take a test just to be sure." 

NO BIGGY, I peed in the darn cup and that was that.

After my awkward pap smear (they are never pleasent) I was told to wait and she'd be right back.

A few minutes later she comes in with a smile on her face and says, "Well...it was POSITIVE."  I think I said, "You're kidding, there's a mistake, this could be a false positive, I'm done, I have one girl and one boy, I'm good, what is my husband going to say, OH SHIT!"  Or something to that effect. 

I left the doctors office still in shock but with a sense of humor as I said, "Well, I guess I'm not getting on birth control today huh?"

I'm FREAKING PREGNANT!  I thought I was done, I knew I was done.  I had just gone through all my fat clothes, maternity clothes from previous children, and children's clothing.  GONE!  But luckily I'm a procrastinator so I still had the bags in the house (ready to go to salvation army... whenever I decided to do that). 

So I'll have to go back through the clothes and see what I can find.

I'm due April 10th, so I have a long way to go to actually come to the realization that I will have 3 DAMN CHILDREN!

I wasn't going to tell my husband the day I found out.  That weekend was our wedding anniversary trip away and I didn't want to ruin our trip.  I ended up going to lunch with him and not saying a thing and I thought I played it off really well.  Then he asked me to go up to his office and see how he had cleaned and arranged things.  I agreed.  The first thing he said to me when we got up to his office was, "how was your doctor's appointment?  Did you get on birth control."  I couldn't lie, I'm not good at lying... so I smilled and said, "uh-huh." He then asked me if I was pregnant and we talked for a while about it in a shocked kinda state that we are still currently in.

So, working out?  I just can't seem to get out of this funk I'm in.  I want to continue to work out, eat right, and lose weight but this has thrown a wrench in things and for some reason I can't jump out of the pit I'm stuck in.

I still want to run my 5K in September but I'm not prepared... I'll probably end up run/walking it.  I need to get that inner skinny girl back out but the darn girl is trapped by the baby that lies within me causing me to be tired, hungry, and TIRED.  I have gone to sleep before 9 every night for the past few weeks.  I wake up 3 times a night to pee, that's frusterating.  I am worn out by the time I get home from school that all I can think about is bed time.

Anyway, this post has been long enough.  Hopefully I will get out of this depressed state and start back to working out and losing weight.  I think now that I've told people about it, that might just help me be a little more motivated... tomorrow.... but for now, I'm going to BED! 

Monday, August 15, 2011

One day at a time...

I'm taking things one day at a time lately.  I am in a funk and can't seem to get out of it.  I have a feeling it has a lot to do with starting back to work and being super tired when the day is over.

I have started getting back to really trying to watch what I eat and get myself back on track.  I'm sure I will get there... there is just a lot going on in my life right now that is causing me to get in a funk and I'm unable to get out of it.

I had gained a couple of pounds since the last time I weighed in... I was up to 184.  Today I weighed in at 181.  So that made me feel a little hopeful. 

I have got to get over the 80's.  I'm ready to see the 70's. 

Anyway, not much more to say now.  I just felt bad for all my loyal blog stalkers that I haven't been around in 6 days and haven't been motivational or helpful to those trying to lose weight in over 2 weeks!

I have got to dig deep and find that skinny girl that so desperately wants out and push that fat girl to the side... or kick her butt!

I have done good for a long time, I don't want to fail or quit or give up... I have got to get my butt back in gear and get busy!!!! 

Maybe I need to just look in the mirror and talk to myself... though that seems a bit awkward.... maybe I'll just silently talk to myself and pump myself up cause I know I can do it, I mean I lost 27 pounds in 3 month.  I can do this!  I only have about 40 pounds to go (more or less) until I reach my ultimate goal and feel great about myself. 

I will say that I passed up a bagel this morning at one of our meetings and I didn't get cheese on my taco salad!  So at least the skinny girl in me is still somewhat there.  :)  I just need to convince her that even though I'm plum tuckered out, that it will feel so good to walk or zumba or something!

I'll be back... I know I will... I can feel the desire to find that skinny girl, slowly coming back into the front of my mind and not pushed to the back... I'll get there... I can do it!

Until we meet again... keep me in your thoughts!

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Motivation... where did you go?

I'm lost.  I've lost my desire and my motivation to lose this weight.  :/  Maybe it's the stress of starting back to work?  Maybe I'm stuck in a funk?  Maybe it's the weather?  Whatever it is is causing me to just want to forget losing weight and go back to my old ways. 

I don't want to go back to my old ways!  I want to have that burning desire to lose this weight... I just can't seem to find it. 

I think part of it could be that I'm not counting calories?  I haven't done that since Thursday.  I need to get back to doing that!

I am not yet at my goal and can't seem to see myself any further along.  I haven't lost any pounds in a while and it's quite frusterating!  I seem to be stuck and I know it's my fault.  I haven't worked out to the best of my ability, I haven't eaten to the best of my ability.  I am just not where I need to be.

What is it going to take to get me there?  Another round of cabbage soup to jump start me back?  No! 

I'm just going to have to dig deep and get my act together.  I'm sure you are sick of hearing that!  But somewhere deep inside me is that skinny girl who wants to come out.  I found her for a good 11 weeks but she is disapearing and I can't seem to find that girl.

It's not like the fat girl is taking over... but I guess she is if I'm not working out, not counting calories, and not losing weight.

Oh well, I start back to work tomorrow.  Maybe that will help me get out of my funk.  I'll be surrounded by people who are constantly supporting me in this journey and I'll be starting a group of people who are wanting to lose some weight and get healthy too.

I've got a good 40 pounds more to lose.  That's all.  I can do it.  I want to do it.  I'm just not doing it right now.  I'm frustrated with myself! 


.......

Sunday, August 7, 2011

Anniversary Weekend

My wedding anniversary is on Tuesday (8 years) and to celebrate, we have left the kids with my mom and are headed to Tulsa for a little getaway.  :)  I'm all packed and ready.... just waiting on the hubby to get himself packed and ready.

I'm looking forward to shopping and buying me some new school clothes.  I really like wearing dresses with leggings so I think I'll shop for a that.  :)  It's tax free weekend as well so that will save us some money. 

I weighed in this morning. 182.  I'm bloated, ate horrible last night, and don't want to talk about weight today.  I'm still looking at how my clothes fit and will just forget about the scale for now. 

I've been feeling off my game.  I went running the other night but haven't done anything in a couple of days.  I need to get my head back in the game.  I have this 5K I need to be prepared to run.  I don't want to look silly walking the darn thing.  :)  I'll get there, I just need to do something to jump start my mood back into things.

We went to the wedding on Friday night.  It was hot but I didn't melt.  The bride was beautiful, the company of friends was great.  I had a lot of people that haven't seen me in a while comment on how good I'm looking.  I guess I've gotten use to how I look so every time someone says something it shocks me I guess.

Anyway, I'm kinda in a crabby mood so I'm going to go help speed up the hubby in his packing so we can head to Tulsa. 

Until we meet again...

Friday, August 5, 2011

207

So the last time I went to the doctor (I think... back before school was out, maybe April?) I weighed 207 according to the records.  Today when I went I weighed 180.  That's 27 pounds gone forever.  :)  Just made me feel good.

Tonight's the wedding and I've got to get to cleaning this house for the father-in-law to baby sit the children.

Not much more to say right now.  MAN IT'S HOT! 

Until next time...

Weight loss and Aunt Flow...

Now that I have your attention.  I'm a bit nervous.  I thought my monthly visitor had come a few days ago (spotting) but then she decided to disapear.  Today is cycle day 34.  That's the latest it's been in a while!  Last month she was late getting here (31 days).  I figure it is because I'm losing weight and eating differently?  I'm just a little freaked out.  I am going to the doctor today to get myself on birth control and hopefully that will regulate things.  I just want normal cycles, and to not get pregnant!  :O

So, for my girl blog stalkers out there, is your period affected by losing weight? 

In other news, I seem to be stuck on the scale at 180-181.  :/  I'm guessing it's because my monthly friend can't decide if she wants to unpack of not.  Gee.  I just wish she would hurry up and get here so I can stop freaking out about it and start seeing some movement on the scale too.

I'm a bit excited to go to the doctor this morning because the last time I went I was 20 pounds heavier, if not more.  I'm interested to see just how much I weighed the last time I was there.  :)

Today is my friends wedding.  My goal was to get to 170 by then... didn't make it.  I've been stuck for the past few weeks at 181.  :/  BUT!  I feel like a big muscle rock!  And I'm down a few sizes so I'm fine with what the scale says for now... I just want it to move some more.

Also, I've been up to the school a few times to start getting my classroom ready.  1.  I can move the furniture without passing out.  2.  I've had a few people mention how good I look.  I guess I've gotten use to the way I look and it surprises me every time someone says something.  Are they just being nice because they have read my blog and know I'm losing weight?  Or do they really see a difference? 

I'm excited to start back to school also because I'm going to start this "challenge" to "get fit or quit" (hmm gotta come up with a fun name) thingy where we all are weighed (whoever wants to do it) and each month (or maybe 2 times a month) we are weighed in again and I'll add up the pounds lost for the group.  I think we'll do it by whole group and not individuals.  Or maybe we'll split up into 2 teams for a little competition.  I gotta get this a little more planned out.

And anyway, I'm going to start an after school walk/run/bike/zumba group as well.  We are going to push each other to get back to our healthier self.  I know how good I feel now that I'm healthier and I want to get everyone else feeling that way too.  :)

Ok time to get my shoes on and go to the doctor.

Oh and did I mention that I walk/ran for an hour last night?  I was so proud of myself!  I think at one point I ran straight for over 2 minutes!  That's a long time for me!  :)

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

It's hot out there!

Today was a good day.  I took the kids to daycare and pampered myself.  I ate a nice lunch with the hubby, got my hair done, did a little shopping, and got my toes done!  :)  I enjoy shopping now because clothes FIT.  I keep telling myself not to get too much (and I haven't) because hopefully soon these new clothes will be too big.

Anyway, it's so hot outside!  Not sure how hot it got today but something like 107 or so.  Our house inside doesn't get cool enough.  Our poor air conditioner just can't keep up.

Gotta make this quick because the hubby is coming to claim the computer to play his computer games (nerd).  :P


But I got my hair cut (shorter than I wanted) and put a feather in my hair.  :)  I tried to convince myself to get one the last time I got my hair cut but I chickened out.  So this time I braved it and got a feather.  Here's a little picture.  Sorry it is really a little picture but I think you can see the feather a bit. 



Off to deal with my 4 year old!  I think it's bed time!!!!  Then I'll ZUMBA in front of our window air conditioner unit! 

Until we meet again blogging friends.

Monday, August 1, 2011

I finally did it!

I finally got my lazy butt up at 6:00am and went for a walk!  I guess it was because today is the first day of August and the fact that I ate Mexican yesterday that I felt like I had to get up!  I kept yawing for most of the walk but after I finished I felt great.

So I sure hope I can continue to get up early and work out.  I start back to school on the 10th so if I can get myself in a habbit of working out before getting ready then maybe I can keep it up when school starts.  I'll have to get up at 5:00am when school starts back if I want to get a good hour of workout in. 

Then when I got home my little guy was already awake and in bed with daddy.  So I took him to the store with me and we got our groceries. 

So by 8:00am I had already worked out and done my grocery shopping.  That feels like a great way to start August.  :)

I plan to work more on the laundry today.  I feel like I can see the light at the end of the tunnel since we went through all of our clothes and got rid of over half of them!  I now can fit all of my clothes into about 2 laundry baskets.  I plan to do a bit of back to school shopping since my wardrobe doesn't consist of much professional clothing. 

We have a tax free weekend coming up and I plan to go out and shop along with everyone else around here.  But I feel hopeful that I'll find some good stuff.

Anyway, I'm off to work on the laundry and clean the house a bit this morning.  Happy Monday my little blog stalkers.  :)

Sunday, July 31, 2011

Sunday Weigh in

Good morning blogging friends.  Today is my official weigh in. 

Last week: 181
Today's weight: 180.5
Pounds lost: .5
Total pounds lost: 23.5


Not happy about that but doesn't surprise me.  I ate fine this week but didn't workout very much.  So I didn't expect to see much lost.  At least I didn't gain any and at least the scale is still going down.

My monthly friend is also here so maybe I weigh a tad bit more anyway.  That's ok. 

This just means I need to get my workout butt in gear and get back in the grove this week of working out.

I was going to measure myself again just for an official measurement today but I can't find my measuring tape (I'm sure the kids have been playing with it).

Kids- let me talk about kids for a minute.  This has nothing to do with weight loss but I need to get it off my chest. 

I'm ready to start back to school, teaching.  I'm DONE staying home with the most bratty 4 year old I know.  He makes the most annoying bratty sounds and drives me up the wall.  Yes, I love him.  Yes, he can be sweet.  But lately I've been so sick of hearing him and so sick of being around him.  I'm ready to send him off to daycare so I don't have to hear it anymore.  I mean, it's only 9:00 in the morning and he's already about to be sent to his room for time out!  The noises he makes are like fingernails on a chalk board!  So very frustrating.  Maybe because I'm a bit moody on my period is why I can't handle much more!  I feel bad for feeling this way about my child but it's the truth.  I love when he decides to be sweet and cuddly and quiet but that's rare most days.  I don't wish him older, I just wish him quieter and nicer.  :/

Anyway, that's my weigh in for the week.  Not up but not down much.  Gotta get back to working out every day!  No excuses, just DO IT!

Friday, July 29, 2011

CLOTHES! CRAZINESS!

I decided that today I would go through ALL of our clothes (the whole family) and get rid of a ton of stuff.  Well 2 hours later of working straight I'm not even halfway through yet. 

I will admit that it has been fun finding clothes that I wasn't able to wear before because they were too small and now they are too big!  We aren't the most organized family especially with our clothes.  For one thing, I hate doing laundry (go figure) and so we have baskets of dirty clothes and clean throughout our house.  Well this must change!  We have too many clothes.  I think the problem is that I forget what I even have and end up buying something new just because. 

I plan to make everything fit in the closet and in our drawers and anything that doesn't fit is going to be thrown out!

I have 3 bags for goodwill, a big tub full of clothes I will give to friends, and one for my sister's kids.  I hated to part with some of the clothes but for the most part it felt great to get rid of clothes that were too BIG instead of clothes that are too small.  :)

How do you organize your clothes?  Do you put seasonal clothes up in the attic or stored away?  We have always just had everything down and my goodness that's a lot of clothes!  We don't have a big closet so the way we do things is going to have to change.  I've just got to figure out how to organize things!

Back to work. 

Thursday, July 28, 2011

Really? My face was how fat?


I use to hate taking pictures because my face showed just how fat I was... had become.  I was looking through some pictures today from the last year and am shocked at what I found!



February 2010 after Lauren was born.  Check out that CHIN!  It is hard for me to find very many pictures of me because I would RUN from the cameras!
 

This was about a year ago.  I thought I didn't look too bad!  Boy was I wrong.  Look at that chin!  Oh and check me out, 2 drinks.  Do you think I cared about how much sugar or calories were in those?  Probably not.




January 2011 at a get together.  That's my skinny sister.  Check out that chin!  I use to hide my fat by wearing sweatshirts and I thought those jeans I had on were good.  And every time I had my picture taken I would raise my head up like that was going to hide my chins!  Ha! 
My whole face blended in with my neck.  I can't believe what losing a little weight will do to your face.  That was the first things people started noticing.  "I can see it in your face."  Well the proof is in the pictures.  Here is a recent picture.


I think my whole head is getting thinner.  It doesn't look as wide.  And look, I have a neck and 1 chin!  :)
I still have a long way to go but I'm not hiding anymore.  I'm embracing myself and bring on the camera.  I'll pose for it and not feel embarrassed.  I just can't wait to see what I'll look like in a few more months!  :)

Measurements

I was bored, found my tape measure and decided to measure this morning for fun.  Ummm  Here are the results!  It has been 9 days since I last measured myself.

7/19/11 Measurements and Weight: 187 (really 184 but that's what I weighed on the 19th)
  • Waist (around my belly button): 40"
  • Hips (Around my butt): 45 1/2 
  • Chest (around my chest with my shirt on): 42"
  • Neck: 14.5"
  • Leg: 26.5" 
7/28/11 Measurements and Weight 181 (as of a few days ago)
  • Waist: 37"
  • Hips: 42"
  • Chest: 39"
  • Neck: 13"
  • Leg: 23"

Waist: lost 3 inches
Hips: lost 3.5 inches
Chest: lost 3 inches
Neck: 1.5 inches
Leg: 3.5 inches

WOW I didn't expect to see that at all.  Maybe I pulled tighter?  I dunno.  But heck, even if I pulled a little tighter I wouldn't have pulled 3 inches worth!  :)

I'M A BELIEVER NOW!  I am a true believer on measuring!  WOW!  So very exciting.  Could it be that I measured myself later in the day last time?  Does that make a big difference?  I could see that maybe my waist would be affected by that but not everywhere else.  1.5 inches around my neck?  That's a true change because you can't pull too tight around your neck.  :P  3.5 inches around my leg?  WOW! And one of the first measurements I took around my chest was 38, which would make sense since I just bought a bra size 18.  :)

That is amazing!  I can tell that I feel smaller all over but this really shows proof huh?  WOOHOO!  What a great way to start the day.  I'll do this again on Sunday and make if more official.

Here's a picture of me from the other night out with friends.

Boring post, don't read. :)

Good morning blog friends. 

I can tell that aunt flow is going to make her appearance in a couple of days because I have felt hungry and blah.  I wish she would hurry up and show her face so I can get back to my happy self.

I've just felt lazy and blah the past couple of days.

I went out with some friends the other night and had a great time.  It's nice to just laugh. 


The other day Jason took the battery from my scale to put in a remote for Conner and I haven't put it back in since.  So I haven't weighed myself since Sunday and I think I won't weigh myself again until Sunday.  We'll see how I do.  :)  I feel like I haven't lost any this week but who knows.  Only time will tell.

I've got to get back in a routine of working out!  It has been so darn hot (inside and out) that I just can't seem to get movin'.  I'm going to zumba this morning!  Hopefully that will help me get back in the groove of things.

The countdown until I go back to teaching has begun.  I'm actually looking forward to it.  I'm looking forward to getting in a routine.  I have got to start getting up early so I'm prepared!  Going from getting up around 9-10 to getting up at 5-6 is going to be rough!

I guess that's all I'm going to be able to blog this morning... hard to think with a child talking in my ear.

Until we meet again.  Sorry this was a boring post!

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

The girls are getting smaller!

Went out shopping a bit this afternoon.  Tried on a bra (in desperate need of a new one) and was suprised to find that my big girls are getting smaller FOR SURE.

I was wearing a 42DD before this journey started and today I bought myself a 38D.  :)  Such a happy feeling.  Those girls get in the way of most everything I wear.  I can't wear some shirts because they are just too tight at the top.  I still am that way but at least they are shrinking.

:)  That's really all I had to say today. 

Jason took the battery out of the scale!  Not on purpose, he needed it for something else but I haven't weighed myself today and am going through withdraw!  Oh well, maybe I'll get out and get a new battery in a few days. 

Time to go try on clothes and figure out what to wear tonight (going to the movies with friends).  :) 

Ta-ta for now...

Monday, July 25, 2011

Crazy children and a little inspiration

Monday... oh how I hate today.  Not that I've done bad eating or anything... I'm just bored, my children are getting on my nerves, and bedtime can't come quick enough!  I swear this child doesn't know how to talk, he just SCREAMS everything.

So here I sit, trying to block the noise out and blog.  But that's hard to do.

Woke up late today and didn't eat breakfast.  I think that made my day a little off.  I've felt off all day!  At least tonight I will get back into my running routine!  Tonight starts week 2 of C25K!  I'm a bit nervous about it.  I could barely do week 1! Now I'm suppose to run for 90 seconds and walk 2 minutes back and forth.  90 seconds seems like a LONG TIME!  But I'll push through it and do it.

How long until bedtime? :O BRB gotta go put a band aide on a finger.  MAN THIS IS LIKE THE LONGEST DAY OF THE YEAR.....

How do you keep a child from constantly SCREAMING?  He's happy but the squealing sound is getting under my skin.  1..2..3..4..5..6..7..8..9..10  ok that's a little bit better.

Here's a little inspiration for you today:

I have always said- "you aren't going to lose weight until you are mentally ready." 

Watched Oprah today (rerun of course) and she had 100 guests who had lost 100 pounds or more in the audience.  She talked with a few about what got them started, what motivated them, what touched them deep down to have them change their lives.

She had some guy on (I can't remember... Bob something maybe?) who said, "you have to ask yourself 3 questions."  1.  Why did you gain the weight?  2.  Why do you want to lose the weight?  and 3.  I can't remember the 3rd one.

The 2nd one hit me and made me realize what I have been saying is SO true.  He said, if you are wanting to lose the weight because you have an event coming up... that might get you started but you have to mentally make a change and want to lose the weight for yourself (or something like that).  I can't remember what else he said because I got interrupted by my child screaming (go figure).  But anyway, it clarifies for me my whole philosophy of losing weight.  You will not lose the weight and you will not keep any of the weight you do lose off if you aren't mentally ready to make a change.

My mom called me today to see how I was doing and to see if I was still motivated and hanging in there.  I'm at a point now that I don't need to be motivated anymore.  I'm at a point now that I don't need to "hang in there."  This is a new life for me.  This is a new way of thinking.  I've made a change to be a different person, a healthier person, a happier person.

That's it.  So whenever anyone asks me how I've done it or what "diet" I'm on or how do you stay motivated?  I will tell them that I was mentally ready to lose the weight and change my life.

Don't force yourself to lose weight, when you are in the right mindset and ready for a change, it will happen.  I will offer my advice but I can't help you lose the weight if you aren't ready.

And on that note I've got to go put a child in time out... or to bed early!  Bleh, I'm ready to get back to teaching!

Sunday, July 24, 2011

Happy Fridge

I love the day after a big trip to the grocery store when your fridge is full of fresh food!  I almost get too excited.  What am I going to make first?  Salad? Chicken? Veggies?  It is just a bit overwhelming.  :)  Maybe I'm just weird.  I usually wait until I have nothing left to eat in the house (but yet the fridge still has stuff and so does the pantry) but tuna and then hit the store.

We went to SAMS and got yummy peaches and grapes and salmon and chicken and and and the list goes on and on of yummyness.

I got spinach and made myself my first green smoothie.  It didn't turn out green like I expected it to look but I put at least 2 cups of spinach in there (too much? Not enough?) and frozen strawberries and frozen banana and a scoop of my protein powder to make it all smooth and creamy.  It made 2 huge smoothies!  I'm thinking I may put the 2nd half of my smoothie in the fridge until I can stomach it all.  I'm STUFFED!  It was good though.

I got a big bag of almonds at the store and I'm thinking about making almondaise with some of it.  It is so good on wraps or sandwiches.  My mom use to make these veggie wraps where you chop up or food process the veggies until they are small and then mix it with the almondaise and wrap it up in a wheat tortilla and enjoy.  It's yummy- I did it once with broccoli, carrots, cauliflower, water chestnuts, and a bag of that slaw mix.  Now I think I'm craving that!  I'll have to get on that as soon as I eat through some of this other yummy food I have here.

Here's the recipe for Almonnaise:

1/2 cup raw almonds
1/2 to 3/4 cup water or soymilk
2 rounded teaspoons of soy powder (optional)
1 teaspoon of nutritional yeast (found at a local health food store)
1/4 teaspoon of garlic powder
3/4 teaspoon salt-free seasoning or seasoned salt
1 to 1 1/4 cups safflower or sunflower oil (I use safflower and LOVE IT)
3 tbs lemon juice
1/2 teaspoon apple cider vinegar

1.  Cover almonds with boiling water and allow to cool slightly.  Slip off the skins.  Have all ingredients handy.
2.  Place almonds in blender or food processor (I think I'll try my new blender!) and grind to a fine powder.  Add half the water or soy milk along with soy powder, yeast, garlic powder, and seasoning.  Blend well, then add the remaining water or soymilk to form a smooth cream.
3.  With blender running on low, remove insert and top and drizzle the oil in a thin stream until mixture is thick.
4.  Kepp blender running and add lemon juice and vinegar.  Blend on low for 1 minute longer to allow mixture to thicken to desired consistency.  Refrigerate tightly sealed; this will keep for 10 days to 2 weeks in the fridge.

YUMMY!  I'm going to go make me some right now!

(EDIT: THE WAY I SAY TO COOK SALMON IS NOT A HEALTHY OPTION!  I DON'T RECOMMEND THIS METHOD UNLESS YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT FAT AND CALORIES... OR HEART ATTACK.  SEE THE COMMENTS FOR A HEALTHIER CHOICE... WHICH I WILL DEFINITELY TRY) Oh and salmon!  I love salmon.  We got a HUGE thing of salmon at SAMS that I plan to cook in a couple of days.  Here's how I do it (for those of you interested)... I may have to tweak it to make it more healthy...  Line a broiling pan with foil, poke hole in the foil to let it drain (this helps with some of the cleanup).  Put the salmon on the pan skin side down.  Put mayonnaise over the salmon (like you're frosting a cake).  Turn your oven on broil.  After the oven is hot, put the salmon in for 7 minutes.  Then take it out, flip it and cook for 7 minutes.  Take it out, flip it again and baste with a mixture of oil, butter, Cajun spices, garlic or really whatever flavors you want.  Put in the oven and cook for another 5-6 minutes depending on thickness.  It turns out PERFECT every time!  :) So juicy and so YUMMY!  Not sure what the mayonnaise does but I think it is key to the perfectly cooked juicy salmon.

Anyway, that's enough from chef Leah today.  I'm gonna go look in the fridge and plan out what's for lunch today.  :)

Sunday Weigh in

Ok so I'm going to start doing a Sunday weigh in each week because I get a bit confused as to how much weight a week I'm losing.  I guess I weigh myself every day and can't remember what I was last week.

Starting weight: 204
Last week: 184
Current Weight: 181
Pounds lost this week: 3
Pounds lost total: 23

That's right people!  I'm making progress!  On the 16th, about a week ago, I weighed in at 184.  On the 12th I weighed in at 182 and then went up for a week to 186 even!  But I think because it was sodium related issues that caused me to gain.  For the past few days I have been drinking water like crazy and I think that's helped me.

So YAY!  I'm just glad I'm going down.  I have 36 more pounds to lose (to get to 145) and then I'll reach my big goal.  I don't plan to stop when I get to 145.  I do plan to keep working out, eating right, and exercising to continue to maintain and maybe lose more.  :)

Here's another happy:

Starting shirt size: XL (stretched at times and some shirt XXL)
Current shirt size: L (some shirts don't work at L but most do)

Starting pant size: 18
Current pant size: 13/14 (not sure what that is in "adult" size and not "teen"?)

Starting dress size: 18 (tight around mid-section and boobs)
Current dress size: 14 (barely, a little snug in the boobs but 16 is too big)

It is so fun to watch the progress.  Am I really going to go down more?  I haven't been smaller than this in a LONG LONG TIME that I can't picture myself really any smaller. 

I love the way my legs look and feel.  They are tighter, more defined, and not so cheesy and squishy.

I am not sure that the mid section flabby baby skin will ever go away.  It appears to be getting smaller (or not as "full" looking) but I don't think it will ever tighten up.

I can tell in my fingers and toes that they aren't as bloated and chubby.  Did you know your hands get fat?  That's just crazy!  Wonder how long before my wedding ring will fit again? (it was always tight, I didn't want it to fall off)

Jason said the other day that I have a knee cap!  My knee is more defined and not covered up by fat.

All these little changes make a big difference.  It's crazy.  :)

I'll take pictures later on today and try to get a comparison shot on here. 

Until we meet again...

Friday, July 22, 2011

And I'm back...

(Don't shoot me, I never put the scale away, I just changed my mindset that I'm doing everything right and will lose weight, gain muscle, lose inches, in my own time when my body is ready).  If that makes sense at all?  In a nutshell- I got over what the scale was saying to me and have decided to continue to learn how to deal with the scale and not let it OWN me.  :)

So anyway.  I woke up this morning and jumped on the scale as usual and saw 184.  So finally I'm back to where I was a few days ago.  I'm still not down anymore but at least I'm not still going UP.  :)

I feel fine about where I've come.  I mean in the past 10, almost 11, weeks I've lost 20 pounds!  20!!!  That's 2 pounds a week and that's perfect weight loss.  Yes I haven't lost any this week and that's ok.  There are going to be those times when maybe I am just gaining muscle (you can feel it in my arms and legs!) and not seeing progress on the scale.

I went swimming at a friends house today and didn't feel uncomfortable AT ALL in my swimming suit!  That's a first in YEARS!  I use to dread getting out of my coverup or getting up out of the pool when my suit is all wet and hanging tight on me, showing off all the bumps and curves and imperfections. 

No I'm not perfect, yes I'm still "fat" but who the heck cares?  Women come in all shapes and sizes and we have our curves, that's what makes us unique.  :)  I have flabby tummy but that came from my 2 wonderful children.  Would I trade that?  No.  I have stretch marks (no visible, hidden under my suit) but would I take those back?  No, I have children. My boobs sag but I nursed 2 babies on them things!  Would I trade that?  NO.

So, own your skin.  Love your body.  If you do that, who the heck cares what other people are thinking?  All that matters is what you think about your body and the way you look. 

I'm not saying I love the way I look but at least I am not angry anymore.  I'm not angry at how I let myself get fat.  I'm not angry at what childbirth did to my body.  I'm not trying to hide anymore.  I am who I am, and I love myself more and more each day. 

I challenge everyone out here in the blogging world- go get naked and stand in front of your mirror.  How does it make you feel?  What do you see that's good?  What's bad?  Try to develop a relationship with yourself and the way you feel and get over what you think other people see.

When I went out the other night with a group of beautiful women (all mom's), one of them said to me, "I never saw you as the "fat" one.  I just saw you as normal."  (or something like that)  That really stuck with me, because I ALWAYS thought of myself as the "fat" one.  I was so insecure with my body and how I looked.  I always thought that any of the guys we came in contact with at any of the bars was thinking "oh look, a group of hot women and a fat girl trying to fit in." 

So I guess over the course of 10 weeks I have learned to LOVE myself.  I still have work to do, weight to lose, muscle to build, but I love who I am and who I am becoming!

Go get naked and have a talk with yourself!  :)

Until we meet again...

Thursday, July 21, 2011

Happy Shopping Day!

I sent the kids to daycare today and ran around town ALL DAY LONG!

I went to a new nutrition store here in town today that one of my friends recommended and took me with her.  That was fun.  I got to sample their special tea, shake, and some kind of aloe shot for something (I think digestion).  Not too bad.  The tea was yummy and it has a lot of things in it that are suppose to be good (I don't know what, I think it has a lot of green tea and other stuff).  They weighed me, got my height (5" 6") and did my BMI (29.7 I think).  She talked to me about what I should be eating as far as calories to lose weight and about some of their products.  I went back later in the day to get my measurements (which were fairly close to what I came up with at home- she pulled a little tighter when measuring me).

I like the place and I liked the girl.  Whenever I go in to talk to her or get my new measurements they charge 5.99 and give you the tea, shake, and shot.  Not a bad deal in my opinion.  If I was to go get a shake somewhere else it would probably cost me more.  They use the shakes as 2 meal replacements a day.  I think I may do that when I go back to school because it would be easy to mix myself a shake for breakfast and lunch.

So I only bought the tea today because I already have vitamins I need to finish, and protein shake I need to go through first.

The tea was GREAT!  I think I peed like 4 times in just a few hours.  I didn't feel too gittery (because it does contain caffeine) but I was hungry for lunch for sure.

Anyway...

So after that I went to the post office to finally mail off the giveaway prize!  I just dreaded going with my children so I went today with no children.  :)

Then I met Jason for lunch at my favorite Thai place and had pad thai- been craving that for weeks!

Then I went shopping!!!!  Found me a fun pair of short boots at a resale shop!  SUPER EXCITED about those.

Went to a few more places and got me some size LARGE (woohoo) tops and a dress (can't zip it all the way yet, but soon).

Went to the mall and had fun going in "normal" places shopping for not the largest size in the store.  I tried on some jeans and got me a pair of 13/14 pants!  I got another top that is super cute, size Large too!  Going to wear that outfit to the bachelorette party I'm going to on Saturday.  :)

Happy day for trying on clothing.  I didn't want to get too much but I just had fun trying clothes on.  I still have issues with my boobs- they need to get smaller still!  Some of the cute tops I guess were made for little teenie boppers that have no boobs.

Overall a happy productive day.  I didn't find a dress for the wedding I am going to on August 5th, but there's still time.  :)

Going to go play games with my little one before he goes to bed.  :)  Until we meet again my blog stalkers.  :)

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Random thoughts...

Happy hump day everyone out in blog land.  I've had a rather good day today.  Took the kids over to my sister's new neighborhood to swim.  I really like her new neighborhood.  So I'm sure I will be sneaking over there to get her key to the pool quite often (since she lives like 10 minutes from me).  :) 

I hadn't put on my bathing suit since I was about 14 pounds down and today I put it on (about 20+ pounds lighter) and I was SHOCKED at my boobs!  I use to have to "tuck" them into my suit and hope they didn't pop out and surprise everyone around me.  Today I had to kinda pull them out so it looked like I filled in my suit.  :)  That's a happy surprise for sure!  So that's where my 20 pounds of loss went! 

I also didn't feel so self conscious in my suit.  Yeah, I'm still fat but not AS fat.  :)  I like to consider myself (said this before) a "work in progress."  That really does help me when I'm in my swim suit for sure.

I have a friend coming over tonight to do the C25K with me.  I've completed week 1 but I think I'll stretch it out a few more days because I'm just not ready to move on (and she just started).  I am finding it hard to get in the groove of running and breathing.  I've gotta get a pace going and learn to breath right while I run.  My SHINS were KILLING me on Monday when we ran together (I had run the day before too), but I was able to push through and do it.  Such a good feeling.  Looking forward to tonight.  :)

I have a bachelorette party to go to on Saturday (never been to one, never had one) and want to get myself something new to wear for the occasion.  I need a personal shopper because I have no clue what's in style!  I use to just look for clothes that FIT me and that was that.  :) 

I'm looking forward to really loosing more weight and getting down in more sizes so I can really buy myself clothes.  I don't want to buy a lot of clothes that I know just won't fit me in a few months.  What a great way to look at weight loss though- in the FUTURE.  I feel like looking ahead into the future really helps you stay on track and keep on truckin' to lose weight.  :)  Maybe I'll go shopping and buy myself something to FIT into in the future when I lose more weight.  Maybe I'll hang it on the wall in my house like a trophy or reward. 

With all this said, it's time to go finish cleaning the kitchen and think about what's for dinner tonight.  Happy blogging!  Until next time...

Smoothies for dummies

Alright my blog stalker friends.  Bombard me with your favorite smoothie recipes?  I've got this new blender and the only smoothies I have made so far are just frozen fruit and milk (and maybe yogurt).

So tell me- what is your favorite GREEN smoothie?  I've been hearing a lot of people talk about them and how yummy and good they are but there are so many variations out there I don't know where to start.  :)

What else do you like to put in your smoothie? 

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Yes, 3rd blog post of the day... (Measurements)

I've got a lot of my mind today and want to share.  I WILL put the scale far far away tonight (I can't do it, gotta have the hubby do it so I won't find it).  It is making me sad.  I have a feeling that since my time of the month friend came to visit me almost a week late last month, that maybe she's coming early this month, which could explain why I'm up on the scale.  So, I'll put the darn thing away until August 1st.!!!  That's a LONG way away!!!!  I sure hope I can do it.

I'm going to get out and go to the store (I hate going with children) tonight when the hubby gets home and get myself a measuring tape... or maybe I'll search around the house, I have a feeling I have one somewhere.... FOUND IT!  SCORE!

Ok so here we go with my measurements:

Waist (around my belly button): 40"
Hips (Around my butt): 45 1/2
Chest (around my chest with my shirt on): 42"
Neck: 14.5"
Leg: 26.5"
(wish I had beginning measurements to compare)

I'm not sure if I measured correctly or not but I guess if I'm consistent then I should see loss, right?  :)  I'll do more of an official measurement tomorrow morning when I don't have so much in my tummy.  Or maybe I'll just go with it.

I've done pretty good today:
Breakfast: protein shake
Lunch: Salad- mandarin oranges (not good), grilled chicken, spinach and arugula, almonds, and Newman's own Sesame Ginger dressing.
Snack: A few bites of my little one's popcorn (kettle corn smart pop)
For Dinner I plan to eat something light that will keep me under my calorie goal for the day.

I've been drinking a ton of water and going to the bathroom every hour just about.

Speaking of which, I guess it's time to get off of here and go fill up my water bottle.  :)

I will lose this weight and I will feel great.  I know it's going to take time and I will try my hardest not to get discouraged.

I will add here that it amazes me how many people have been touched by my blog.  When I started, I was doing this for me to have something to hold me accountable for.  I started just as a way to record my progress.  I had NO IDEA what impact it would make on the lives of the people around me.  I have inspired others to get their butt off the couch and do something.  I have inspired others to join me in the weight loss journey.  I have motivated people to get back to a healthier lifestyle.  I have inspired others to come with me and to share their feelings with me about their weight loss.  It is amazing to me that I have people sending me messages, calling me, texting me with WEIGHT LOSS ADVICE!  I wouldn't have dreamed that in a million years that people would see me as someone who is knowledgeable about weight loss or health.  Not that I'm knowledgeable but at least people see me as someone who knows a little about it.  I am not a doctor nor do I claim to know a lot about the best route for weight loss.  Lord knows I haven't always taken the right route. People coming to me, talking to me, and asking me for advice just pumps me up more to lose this weight.  I know it's a process and that it won't happen overnight.  Just know that it needs to be more mental than physical.  If your brain isn't "in it to win it" you aren't going to lose the weight....

Anyway, I'm off to drink water and think about what work out I want to do tonight.  Happy blogging.  Until we meet again...

These are a few of my favorite blogs...

I like to blog- it's my way of venting to the world about anything I want.  It's my blog, I can say what I want and you can choose to read or not read what I have to say.

I enjoy reading other blogs as well.  Some times I don't agree with what I read but its your blog, you can write what you want to write and I'll read it if I want.  :)

I have found a lot of weight loss blogs and have found a few that I love to read.

The first blog I read every day is So Fat 4 Now.  He is a guy that tends to rub people the wrong way at times (me included) and blogs about his life along with other blogs he reads that rub him the wrong way (me included).  I like his blog because he's the type of person that doesn't give a Sh&*.  He's lost a lot of weight and has more to go and seems to have a plan as to how to get there.  He posts a lot of "food porn" pictures (that I try not to look at!) and posts a lot of thoughts that are just spot on.  His post this morning I felt was wonderful and inspirational and very "get your butt up and do something" type post.  So, go over to this blog and read what he has to say.



Another blog I like to look at is The Slow Roasted Italian.  She posts recipes to some yummy looking food.  I haven't tried any of her recipes yet but I will.  I love reading blogs that have a lot of pictures.  So if you are hungry, go over to The Slow Roasted Italian and see what she's cooking up.  :)

 

I have a few more blogs I really like to read but my little guy is wanting me to go play Lego Star Wars with him... so I guess I'll have to post a few more later.  :)  Happy blogging.

Not an inspirational post, don't read it.

I warned you.  I'm feeling kinda crabby today.  Woke up this morning and saw 187 on the scale!!!  WTF?  I don't know what I'm doing wrong but I'm gaining weight this week and it's pissing me off!  I guess I'm going to go to the store this morning and get fresh fruits and veggies and eat raw.  I thought "protein" was going to be a good route but I'm having no luck with it.  Maybe I'm still not drinking enough water?  Maybe my sodium is too high?  I don't know but I'm really pissed about not going down the scale.

Yes- blah blah muscle weighs more than fat.  Whatever, I just know I have a lot of fat to lose and for some reason this week it just ain't going down.  I've been working out.  I have been working out to the point that I can't walk today from all the new muscle groups I've been working out.

I've got to get over this funk I'm in.  It's starting to mess with my mind, make me frusterated and depressed about losing weight. 

I've got to get back to the positive me, the happy me, the one that's losing weight and getting healthy me.

Here's what I ate yesterday:
Breakfast- smoothie- frozen fruit, 1/2 milk, whey protein powder
Lunch- Salad mix- asian salad
Snack- pretzels (that could be my sodium issue) and hummas
Dinner- Mediteranian salad- gyro meat

That's it.  It equaled out to about 1200 calories (more than I usually do but what I should be doing).

So today.  I'm going to fill up a gallon thing of water and drink the whole darn thing.  I'm going to go to the store and get my little mini veggie trays that I had been eating.  I'm going to go walking like I use to go, tonight for 1 hour or more. 

Maybe trying new things like zumba for longer and this running/5k training, and riding a bike, is either not doing it for me, maybe I am gaining a lot more muscle, or maybe I'm not drinking enough water.

I don't know, I'm just so darn frustrated this morning.  I don't like plateaus.  I don't like going up the scale.  I'm so mad right now I could scream. 

I so badly want to lose this weight.  I so badly want to find that inner skinny girl that's stuck inside this fat body. 

Maybe I should put the scale away again for a very long time... like a month and see what happens.  That just scares me that I won't hold myself accountable for my weight.  I usually gage the day by what the scale says.  If I'm up then I know I'm doing something wrong, if I'm down then I know that I'm doing something right.  So I just don't know what to do.

Hard to post when you have a 4 year old screaming in your ear about things in the morning.  So I guess that's all I have time for this morning.

Blah!

Yes, I think the scale is going a way for a very long time because I'm getting obsessed with it... so bye bye scale- I'm sending it off to be hidden. I think I may have it go away until the first of August.  Maybe then I'll be down on the scale. 

Monday, July 18, 2011

SORE

I am so sore today.  My feet hurt so bad that I can't really walk this morning.  Planter's fasciitis sucks! 

I think every one of my leg muscles hurts, my shoulders hurt, my chest hurts. 

But it feels so good.  I know that I've worked my tail off really good the past couple of days (more than other days in a while) and it feels great.  I enjoy working out.  Now if only I wasn't so sore to get up and do zumba this morning.  I just don't think my body will let me.  I may sick to riding my stationary bike this morning because it's already so hot outside.

___________________________________________________________________________________
Ok so I was trying to keep this post all happy or whatever but I just don't feel happy today.  I'm proud of how far I've come in the past 10 weeks but I'm feeling a bit sad today.  I know that maybe I'm gaining muscle and blah blah muscle weighs more than fat.  But I know I've got a lot of fat in there that should be leaving me and the scales just aren't reflecting that this week.  I feel like I'm stuck again and I'm scared I may be going up the scale.  I feel like I'm working my tail off and burning enough calories throughout the day, it's just not going down.  :/  I hate to just dwell on the number I see, but I can't help it.  I want to lose weight and to me, that shows up on the scale.  I know for sure that I've got more muscle than I use to- but really? how much more does muscle weigh than fat?  I just think that's a lame excuse or lame reason to not seeing pounds come off.

I have stuck to my "plan" for the past 10 weeks with only a few slip ups.  I have stayed under or around 1000-1200 calories a day with a lot of those days being way under.  I have stuck with working out almost every day! 

It is so hard to have the patience with losing weight.  I want to see results constantly and it sucks when I get to a week and I see nothing, no movement on the scale.

I see changes in my clothes for sure.  I know I'm losing inches and I know I'm getting smaller.  I know that is a great way to know that even though the scale doesn't say it, the clothes do. 

I'm just afraid that I'm doing something wrong.  I gave in yesterday for a few extra bites and told myself I wasn't going to feel guilty about it, but I do.  I feel guilty about every bite I put in my mouth.  All I see when I put food in my mouth is "calories" and "working it off."  I guess that's part of learning to eat differently and having a different lifestyle than I use to.  I use to just eat whatever the heck I wanted and sometimes I'd say "in moderation."  Which is a JOKE!  If you are saying "in moderation" every day, do you really think it's in moderation?  NO! 

Anyway, enough of me ranting away about how down in the dumps I feel right now.  I'm going to go drink me a protein drink and get on my bike and ride far far away in my mind to a place where I'm skinny and a place where I can stick my feet in the sand, wearing a bikini, and drinking a big margarita.  :) 

Sunday, July 17, 2011

Just keep swimming...

This morning I woke up and weighed myself... just like I thought- 184 yet again!  I'm getting a little frusterated but trying to ignore the scale and keep on swimming, dancing, running, whatever.  I'm not going to let this get me down (well I did a bit but I'm gonna TRY to not let the scale break me down).

What keeps me going is all my love and support and right now I have to give props to my husband.  (sorry honey, said I wouldn't talk about you on my blog... but I am, it's all positive).  :)  Today he made me feel really good when he told me that he could really tell a difference in my legs and my waist.  He has been really supportive, never said a negative word to me at all throughout this whole journey.  He has told me on several occasions that he is proud of me.  He has ended up losing a few pounds just from being around me or maybe I'm in his brain when he goes out to eat without me.  So, thank you hubby for sticking by me and staying positive with me.  :)

I did Zumba today on the wii.  I usually do the beginner workout and have tried the intermediate workout but the past few days I've done the intermediate 45 minute workout and they kicked my tail!  I felt so good when I was done.  I'm a bit sore today but I've got to push myself outside and complete day 2 of C25K.

I told myself that today I would splurge and eat whatever and not plug in the calories... I did eat whatever I felt like, snacked a few times throughout the day.  I ate healthy foods, just more than what I usually do.  I did end up plugging everything in and I ate about 1500 calories today!  That's all?  I usually eat 1000 or less and I felt like I was eating and eating and eating and all I came up with was 1500.  Oh well, I'm gonna try to let either Saturday or Sunday be a day of splurging and eating a bit more and let the other days be around 1000-1200.  So I guess I didn't go overboard with splurging today.

There will be no pictures this week because I just don't feel like you'd see any change.  I'll take them tomorrow but probably won't post pictures for another week.

I'm off to run/walk my tail off.  :)

Thanks all my loving and supporting blog stalkers for reading my unedited words.

EDIT: Zumba this morning, C25K tonight.  MY BUTT HAS BEEN KICKED!  But it feels so good!  I can officially say, "I love working out."  :)

Saturday, July 16, 2011

10 Weeks today

So today is 10 weeks since I started this journey (I think I said that last week... but I figured it out for realz).  :P

Starting weight: 204
Weight today: 184
Pounds lost: 20

I'm a little frustrated but not.  I was down 2 pound more the other day but back up to 184 today.  :/  BUT!  I have lost 2 pounds a week on average, which was my goal anyway.  So I'm doing good.  I think a lot of the reason I gained that 2 pounds back is because I am not drinking water like I need to be.  I also think it is because I'm not upping my workout.  I'm doing about the same as I did in the beginning and now I'm not burning as many calories so I'll need to add another workout or time to my workout to burn more calories.   

So, my goal to be 170 on August 5th is just not going to happen unless I lose more than 2 pounds a week.

I'm setting a new goal for myself.  176 by August 10th (that's when I go back to school).  I have 26 days or about 3.7 weeks to do this.  So that is a little over 2 pounds a week.  It will be almost 30 pounds total lost. 

I think what I'm going to start doing is go on a bike ride in the mornings (not a morning person though), my C25K training in the evening, and make sure to get zumba workout or some DVD workout 2 times a week as well as weight training a couple times a week too.

I will take pictures of me tomorrow but I don't expect myself to look any different than I did last week (I was at the same weight last week). 

A few questions to all my blog stalkers: 

1.  What have you done to help you get that weight off when you seem to be stuck? 
2.  What workout do you feel burns the most calories and makes you feel great?
3.  What weight is your ultimate goal? (I keep going back and forth, not sure where I want to be)

Friday, July 15, 2011

From Couch to 5K- Day 1

WOW!  I did it!  I ran for a total of 8 minutes tonight!  I downloaded the podcast for "couch to 5K" on my ipod and started training today.  I didn't know if I was going to be able to run the full 60 seconds but I did!  I pushed myself and did it.  What a great feeling.  I know it wasn't a fast run, more like a slow jog but at least it was more than walking and not bad for my first time.

I did ride my bike to "warm up" for about 30 minutes and I think that helped.  I really enjoyed it.  I knew that the lady on the podcast is gonna come back on and tell me when to stop and when to start and that helped me push myself further than I thought I could go.  :)  I have a feeling that I'll do even better the next time.

When I got back I sat down to rest and looked down to see...

I know, silly, but I'm proud to know that my SPANDEX workout outfit is getting smaller (or it's just stretched out).  :P

Update on various things

I had a fellow blogger mention that I need to do an update on some things.

1.  My blender I purchased a few weeks ago-  (go here to read the blog post).

I LOVE my blender.  Compared to the one I had years ago this one is fabulous!  I haven't made very many things in it yet but let me just tell you that it does make snow.  Well worth 100 dollars I paid for it!  :)

2.  My supplements I'm taking- (go here to read the blog post).

I absolutely love my supplements.  I have to really psych myself up to take them because they are all so big and hard for me to swallow.  I can't take both of the "energy" pill because it is WAY too much caffeine for me.  I have noticed my bright yellow neon pee too!  I think I read online that my body absorbs what it needs and flushes out the rest?  Either way, I have energy and feel great.  I am having problems getting to sleep.  Since starting the pills (and it could or could not be related to the pills) I can't seem to fall asleep until after 2am.

3.  Protein Shakes- (see the above link for a post about the protein drink)

LOVE LOVE LOVE my protein drinks!  It tastes good, low in calories, high in protein, low in sugar, low in carbs.  :)  It gets me going in the morning.  It doesn't really stick with me as long as I'd like though but it seems to be a great way to start the day.  The other day I added some orange flavored mucinex to it and it was like drinking a melted orange cream Popsicle.


Not sure if there is anything else for me to update.



OH!  I was watching Dr. Oz today and saw a couple of things I WANT!

Here is a cool scale he showed on the show.  It doesn't show up a "weight number" it shows how much you've gained or lost.  I guess you program it and then it keeps a record of your weight.  Sounds cool.

click on the scale for more information

Another cool weight loss gadget Dr. Oz talked about and I want is called a gruve.  It's like a pedometer but it tells you how many calories you've burned.  It also vibrates at you if you have been sitting too long.  You can also go online and it will give you more information.  It changes color to indicate to you how you are doing.  :)  Very cool.  Cost is about 159 dollars (too much for me to spend right now for sure).

click the picture for more information from amazon

99 bottles of beer on the wall...

Good morning... ok afternoon my blog stalkers.  This post turned out to be a long one.  I didn't expect that!

I went out last night with some awesome girls from my mommy group.  I was a bit nervous going out because I know I enjoy my alcoholic beverages and usually I don't care what I drink as long as I am drinking.  :)  But I really didn't want to screw things up for me and had no clue what to order that would be "low calorie."  We went to a sushi bar (is that was you call them?).  I don't eat sushi so I ordered a little side salad with that yummy ginger dressing!  That was pretty cheap so I had money to spend on drinks!  I had 3 cape cods (I think it was cranberry juice and vodka and lime?  Maybe something else too).  Very small drinks but they were good.  Then we went to another bar and I got a beer.  I was told that Michelob Ultra is low in calorie (it was 95 calories a beer) so I got that.  I'm a light beer drinker so it was ok.  We went to another bar and I had another.  Then we went to another bar... and I had another?  And now I don't know where I'm at or how many I've had.  :)  jk 

I had a fun time and talked with the girls a lot about working out and losing weight and feeling great and what I was going to do when I get to my ultimate goal (which I still am not sure what it will be... I guess I'll just know when I get there).  I will need a personal shopper and hair stylist and oh we have 2 great photographers that will have to take pictures of me when I get to my goal!  :)

I felt so much better about myself going out this time.  I spent 40 minutes doing make up on my eyes (that smokey eyes look).  I felt confident in what I had on (oh that strapless dress I've been wearing).  I know I still have a long way to go to be that skinny girl but at least I didn't feel like the "fat" girl in the group (and I didn't mind my picture being taken either!).  People are noticing that I've lost weight.  They say they can tell in my face.  It has amazed me that my neck is smaller (CRAZY). 

I almost didn't recognize one of my friends!  I hadn't seen her in a very long time and she looked GREAT!  She said she had lost 25 pounds by eating right and working out.  She did tell me that she gives herself one day of splurging and eating more.  I just can't do that yet.  I get that guilty feeling inside me when I eat something I know is unhealthy and bad.  Maybe one day I can do it but not yet... just not ready to splurge. 

After our night was over, we walked back to our cars.  I walked alone back to my car.  Luckily there was a few people up in front of me so I kinda followed them and then walked real quickly to my car.  BUT!  There was this guy walking on the other side of the street that yelled at me and asked me if I wanted to go to Waffle House with him and that he was paying.  Silly drunk people.  I almost did but then I thought (too many calories, BAD BAD BAD)... of course I didn't tell him that (he would have thought I was crazy for sure).  I just giggled and said no thanks have a good night and moved on to my car and drove home.

I took my ibprofen and went to bed.  Woke up today and felt ok.  I was expecting me to have those good beer poops this morning but nothing yet.  I think tequila works better on me than beer.  SORRY TMI!

So that's my night.  I weighed myself this morning to see if I had screwed anything up and I was still at 183 so that's good.

Thanks to all my blog stalking peeps for reading my every word.  :)

Until we meet again...

Thursday, July 14, 2011

Fly me to the moon...

Oh boy!  It's a full moon and I sure can tell... I think.  I haven't been sleeping good AT ALL!  Could it be because of the moon?  I thought it was because I was working out at night and was all full of energy (but yesterday I worked out in the morning).  I know it's not caffeine (though I guess it could be my supplements).   Whatever it is, I can't sleep.  I find myself going to bed, watching TV, dozing off, and then waking up 10-15 minutes later READY FOR THE DAY... but it's only 12am and I should go to sleep, so I try and the cycle continues until probably 2-3am (then I have a child in my face at 7:30am asking for breakfast).

I thought maybe it was because I was hungry last night, so I ate some peanut butter and a little glass of milk to see if that helped.  Nope, nothing, nada.  I try not to eat past 8pm and if I go to bed at 10pm, that's fine.  But if I'm up until 2-3am, I get hungry (and usually drink water to help).

Anyway,  let's talk about the moon again.  So I read online that people believe that they weigh less during a full moon.  I weighed in this morning up 1lb (183).  So I don't think that theory is true!  :) BUT!  If I lived on another planet, check out how much I'd weigh.  :)   So let's all just move to the moon. 

I think the reason I'm up is because I haven't been drinking a TON of water the past couple of days and feel a bit bloated and I really need to poop!  Sorry, TMI (you should know by now you're gonna get TMI in my blog).  I'm thinking that if I don't have anything productive this morning, I'm going to have to take a tiny pill again!  :O  That dreaded pill that makes you poop your whole entire colon out completely.  But boy how good I feel after it's over.  After the sweats and the cramps and the running to the potty for an hour is over, I feel so much better and lighter.

Tonight is a girls night out and I'm looking forward to it.  I'm looking forward to dressing up.  I use to dread it but being 20 pounds lighter and happier makes me a bit excited.  I'm curious to see if anyone will notice.  A lot of the girls read my blog or at least know that I'm losing weight, so we shall see.  I'm gonna raid my clothes and see what I can find that fits now.  :)

Off to drink my protein shake, take that magic tiny pill, try on clothes, and book my next flight to the moon.  :P

Until we meet again... on the dark side of the moon...

Oh and don't forget to check out my main homepage for different pages.  About me, My Journey, and My plan.  :)

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