Thursday, June 30, 2011

Said I wasn't... but I am!

The other day (probably yesterday but the days all blend together during the summer) I said I wasn't going to take part in any fad diets... but I've changed my mind.  I need to do something different to jump start me a little more and get over this hump.  Yeah I saw 189 today on the scale but I'm ready to really start losing weight again.

So, with that being said, I'm going to try the cabbage soup diet.  This diet started back in the 50's and the origin is unknown.  I've read a lot about it and from what I've read, people lose weight and can keep it off if they continue to eat healthy.  I plan to eat healthy after it is over so I don't see a problem with it.  From what I've read, it seems to me like you are eating healthy.  You may deprive yourself of vitamins or protein or whatever, but I'm doing that anyway.  I know for sure that I'm not getting enough of whatever I need every day anyway.  I think this may just do the trick.

Here is what you do (in case anyone wants to do it with me).  It is only for 7 days.  I think I can handle that.

Soup recipe (there are variations but this seems to be the basic recipe):
1 head of cabbage (some say 1/2 but what am I going to do with the other half?  I may make 2 batches)
3 large carrots
6 green onions
2 green peppers
1 box mushrooms
1 large can diced tomatoes
Lipton Onion Soup Mix
1 can V8 (I'm going to use tomato juice since I already have it)
salt, pepper, garlic to flavor
Chop it all up, mix it with like 12 cups of water and cook for a few hours (on low) or until everything is soft.

You eat the soup anytime you feel hunger coming on (about 2-3 bowls a day).

Here is what you can eat along with the soup each day:
Day 1: Any fruit you want and soup (no bananas), cranberry juice, unsweetened tea, and water.
Day 2: Any veggies you want and soup (no corn, beans, or peas) Baked potato for dinner.
Day 3: Fruit and Veggies and soup
Day 4: Unlimited skim milk and no more than 8 bananas, soup (this is suppose to help stop your craving for sweets)
Day 5: 10-20 oz. beef and veggies, 6 tomatoes, 6-8 glasses of water, and soup at least once (you can substitue chicken or fish for beef)
Day 6: Unlimited beef (you can eat 3 steaks if you want) and veggies, soup at least once
Day 7: Brown rice, unsweetened fruit juices and vegetables, soup at least once

And that's that.  You can drink water, unsweetened tea, and coffee during this diet but no cokes.  You can't eat anything other than what is listed above.  From what I've read, you can lose around 10 pounds (I've read that it's water weight but you can keep it off if you are careful when you stop this diet).  This diet shouldn't be used for more than 7 days and I'm sure after 7 days you won't want to eat anymore darn soup.

I'll give it a try and see how it goes.  It should have a lot of fiber, so I'm guessing this will help take care of my constipation issues I've been having.

I just like the fact that you are eating a lot of healthy foods.  Might not meet the requirements your body needs but it is only 7 days!  I haven't looked to see how many calories it will be but from what I can tell, it is going to be a low calorie diet (The soup is a negative calorie soup meaning it uses negative calorie vegetables, which burn more calories to digest than they actually contain!  So the more you eat, the more you burn).

Anyway, think I'm crazy?  Want to join me?  I'm starting tomorrow (going to the store after nap to get my supplies).  :)  Let me know if you'd be willing to try it with me and we can support each other.

Here's a link to a website about the cabbage soup diet:

Wednesday, June 29, 2011


Woke up this morning, went to the bathroom, and stepped on the scale:

I don't care how I saw the number, I am just happy to know that the 80's do exist.  :) I'm sure it will go up after I eat something this morning but I'm going to work my tail off and burn as many calories as I can today.

I think I might have still been bloated (still feel a bit bloated) the last few times I weighed myself.  I really need to remind myself this every month.  Why must I get depressed during this week of weight gain due to that monthly friend that visits?  

Just wanted to share that excitement with my blogging friends.

I'm not doing a pounds lost update until this is fairly consistent.  If I weigh this much tomorrow (or less) then I'll post how many pounds I've lost... oh heck, I'll do it today.  But I know it may go back up a bit.

Starting weight: 204
Current weight: 189.5
Total pounds lost: 14.5
Weeks since starting this journey: 7

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

I would walk 500 miles..

Well not 500 but I did walk almost 5 miles tonight (close to 10,000 steps).  :)  I pushed myself to walk further than I've walked in a while.  I feel like if I walk far far away from home it makes me walk longer and harder because I have to turn around and walk back.  So, I walked around 2.5 miles away from my house and 2.5 miles back.  Michael Jackson got me through my walk today for sure.  Such great music and beats to walk to. 

I am feeling a bit better today.  I ate decent and healthy and exercised.  I'm feeling good and I think I'm working my way back into the groove of things.

I weighed myself after my walk tonight (after my shower) and it said 191.  :)  I'm sure that's because of all the water I lost sweating!  But even so, closer to the 80's than this morning.  We'll see how things are tomorrow (yes I stayed away from the scale for a week... it's time for it to come out from hiding). 

I made gazpacho today and it is YUMMY!  It is like eating a fresh bowl of salsa with cucumbers.  I'm sure it will taste even better tomorrow.  I didn't add any heat to it but I think I may put a little Tabasco in it tomorrow to spice things up a bit.  It is only 60 something calories per cup, not bad at all.

I watched Dr. Oz today and he was talking about the HCG diet.  At first I was kinda interested in it, thought... hmmm maybe I could try that.  But then after hearing more, it sounds like anorexia to me, or could lead to that.  You only eat 500 calories?  That couldn't be good or healthy for your body.  What nutrition are you getting?  How are you fueling your body?  Yeah you'd lose weight, DUH!  You aren't eating!  I feel like the HCG drops wouldn't really do anything and would be a big waste of money... but maybe they do?  Who knows? 


All I know is I know I can lose this weight BY MYSELF!  No need for fad diets or silly colon cleansers, or protein diet, or low carb diet, or lemonade diet, or whatever.  I'm just going to try to eat low calorie, healthy foods, drink plenty of water, and exercise to lose this weight.  I'm not on a specific diet, I'm making a life style change and if you aren't mentally ready to lose weight, you aren't going to lose it.  That's me standing on my soap box (not really sure what that means, but I hear people say it a lot).  :)  So, sit down, meditate, talk to yourself about losing this weight.  Talk to that skinny girl inside you and push the fat girl (might be hard) to the ground and get your butt up and do something about your life!  That's the only way you are going to lose weight.  You have to be ready or it just won't work.

So I will leave the post at that and go get in front of the TV and be the fat girl for a while.  This skinny girl WILL be seen sooner or later.  I just know it is going to take time and I need to be patient.

Until next time...

Frusterated yet again...

Feeling a bit frustrated this morning.  I finally got the scale from Jason.  It has been 8 days I think since the last time I weighed in.  The last time I weighed myself I was at 192.  I had gone down to 190 previously.  This morning I got on the scale and saw 193.  It made me a bit sad and frustrated at myself.

I haven't given this weight loss my all in a couple of weeks and I'm paying for it.  I have GOT to get back to eating veggies, working out 100% and being more active. 

I've now only lost 11 pounds in almost 2 months.  That's just not good.  I really thought I'd continue on the 10 pound a month path and lose 20 pounds in 2 months, not 11!

I am determined to start pushing myself like I was at the beginning.  Is walking an hour not good enough?  Is doing zumba 40 minutes not good enough?  I sure do sweat during my workouts.  I'm drinking plenty of water.

Maybe I'm still bloated?  Who knows.  All I know is that the scale doesn't reflect the weight loss I would like to see.

I want to be motivational to other people but right now I'm not.  It makes me feel like a failure.  I'm STUCK in the 90's and I'd really like to be in the 80's already. 

Not sure what else to do.  I guess I will be more diligent in watching what I eat.  Maybe I will switch things up and eat more protein and less carbs.  Not that I'm eating many carbs now anyway.  I need to get back to eating breakfast in the morning, a light healthy lunch, a few little bites during the day, and a healthy dinner.

I did go out with friends the other night and had a few margarittas.  I'm sure that didn't help my weight loss at all.  On the way home, I did have taco bell (just a chicken quesadilla- was my dinner and didn't put me that far over my calories).

Maybe I'm too concerned with "calories" and not looking at the other factors in the food- sugar, fat, carbs, etc.

I know I can do this.  I just wish I knew how to do this.  I know I can get back in the groove of things and push myself to lose this weight but it sure would be nice to have someone behind me pushing me when I want to stop.

Oh well, I will do better this week and I WILL lose this dad gum weight I've been carrying around with me FOREVER!

I didn't get a chance to take pictures of myself this week... not sure I really want to.  But I will tonight and I'll try to post a comparison shot.  :/

I'm off to training.  To be continued...

Monday, June 27, 2011

Every now and then I get this feeling...

Every now and then I get this feeling of excitement deep down in my tummy of what it will feel like to lose all this weight.  :)  It really helps me to keep going or to get up and do something.  I get a little giddy.  I was just sitting here thinking about what I'm going to do when I hit the 20 lbs lost mark.  I plan on doing a giveaway here, and buying myself new shoes.  20 lbs sounded so far away almost 2 months ago but I feel that it is almost here.  The last time I weighed myself I had lost 13.5 or 14.5 lbs (depending on the day).  So, 5-6 more pounds isn't very far away and that makes me a little excited deep down inside.  :)

I have managed to stay away from bad foods today and I'm proud of my will power.  I started thinking about the bag of ruffles we have in the house (yes I bought another one when we had company and because I felt bad about throwing out the other bag).  I haven't given in to temptation today and that makes me feel good!

For lunch today I made a little stir fry with peppers, onion, mushrooms, pineapple, and sesame seeds.  It was good.  I ate some of it for lunch and then a little more later when I felt hungry.  I plugged in the calories in myfitnesspal app and it was around 200 calories for the whole thing!  That's not bad at all.  :)

I drank a lot of water after eating it and I'm guessing this meal had a little too much sodium because I was super thirsty.

Well I'm off to clean up the house before the hubby gets home.  :)  I feel like I've done nothing today and that's just not ok.  I have to be a little productive!  :)

To be continued...

Giving it 100%... not this week. :/

Happy Monday.  I think I'm up to the beginning of week 8 now. 

I haven't posted since posting about my bowels and I sure did get a response as to what to do or other experiences people have had.  I really enjoy talking to people about my blog... even if it is about POOP.  :P

I haven't weighed myself in a while (probably a week or so) and am dying to see if I've gone down any.  I feel like I haven't been 100% this past week on losing weight.  I have eaten more than 1200 calories each day, haven't given it my all in working out, and have been a bit lazy around the house.

Yesterday I put on some jeans that a friend of mine gave me because she couldn't wear them anymore (I'm ok with that, give me your fat clothes... just helped me realize I need to do something about myself).  Well the last time I put them on I couldn't really move in them.  I put them on last night and had room to move and it didn't hurt to button them.  So I'm guessing I have lost at least a pound this past week. 

I really want to weigh myself just to see but Jason says he took the scale to work.  I may have to do a little searching around the house just in case it might really be here.  I know I said 2 weeks but really, I know my blogging friends are dying to know my progress, right?  :)

I have been hearing more and more of my friends posting online about how they need to lose a few pounds or the exercises they have been doing.  It is great to hear about so many people losing weight.  I had a dream the other night that I went back to school and saw a teacher who had lost a lot of weight.  I think I was a little jealous because in the dream I still looked the same.  I think deep down I must have some issues with weight loss.  It could be because I haven't given it 100% and am scared that I'm not losing.

I am not even sure what I am posting makes any sense.  It is hard to blog when you have a 4 year old screaming in your ear and a 1 1/2 year old screaming to get down from the high chair.  I sure hope I survive today.  It isn't even 9am yet!

So I will end the blog for now...

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

No Bueno!

WARNING-  The blog you are about to read is not meant for the squeamish, this post is not sugar coated, do not read if you don't want to hear about my bowels.  :)  With that said... if you're still here, enjoy.

I have a book that I read to Conner called "Everyone Poops."  Well this week that book is just not true for me.  I am clogged up.  I feel bloated and am having a hard time going to the bathroom.  (sorry I warned you)  So I was talking to my mom today and she said to take Ducolax (aka liquid plumber for the body!) before bed and when I wake up I should have a "movement."  So I went to the store and got this little box.  Inside this little box were very tiny orange pills.  It said to take 1-3, so seeing how tiny the pill was, I took 2.  That was at 6pm.  I ate dinner, put the kids to bed, and went for my walk.  When I got home I went to lay down and watch So you think you can dance.  Not 1/2 way into it my stomach started talking to me... let me change that... my stomach started screaming at me!  I ran to the bathroom (well I couldn't run because my tummy was in pain, I thought I was going to burst from the pressure- like a balloon being blown up inside me with not escape).  Nothing.  So I went back to bed and then jumped back up again and ran to the bathroom and PA POW it hit me!  I never knew such a tiny pill could be so deadly, so powerful!  I am still cramping and I'm afraid I won't be able to sleep tonight. 

I've got the chills, feel feverish, cramping, and my stomach is talking to me loudly. 

NO BUENO!  and to think my mom said to take this 3 nights.  BULL SH@# I will not be taking this tiny death pill again!  I'll stick to eating more fiber.

So there's my review on DUCOLAX!  DON'T DO IT!

And in other news, tonight while I was walking, a truck passed me and hollered at me.  Now I am not sure if the guy is a chubby chaser, trying to scare me, or actually checking me out, but WHO THE HECK CARES.  It kinda put a little more pep to my step.  :)  Stare all you want at this fat girl in spandex!  :P

And on that note I must go visit the bathroom again. 

I really want to weigh myself after all this "movement."  :P

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Saying Goodbye to my addiction

I'm saying goodbye to one of my addictions for a while.  I had a lot of people tell me to put the scale away!  So, I'm putting it away (said I was going to a while ago but didn't) and giving myself 2 weeks until I weigh again!  2 WEEKS away from my addiction.  I think that will be good for me.  I know what I'm doing is healthy and should be working.  I'm eating right (for the most part), working out almost every day, so hopefully I will see results. 

This is going to be hard for me to do because I like the feeling I get when I weigh myself.  I have realized that I'm addicted to weighing myself.  I don't just do it once a day either.  I go to the bathroom and weigh myself, I eat and weigh myself, I take a shower and weigh myself, I take off all my clothes and weigh myself.  This madness has got to stop.  So I'm going to put it up somewhere and then when my husband comes home tonight I'm having him hide it (because knowing me, I'll get it out if I know where it is). 

I'm hoping that in 2 weeks I'll see 180something. 

In other news...

I ate some ruffles yesterday and then threw the rest down the drain.  Jason came home and was wanting some with his dinner and I told him what I did.  :/  But you know what, neither of us need any.  See, with me, I can't just eat a handful and put them up, I gorge myself on the darn chips, especially when I get near the bottom of the bag.  I mean, who wants to put a bag of almost gone chips back in the pantry?  So I keep saying "eh, the bags almost empty, better eat the rest."  Then I end up eating like 1/2 a bag!  Chips are my weakness and I don't need that in the house.  Yeah, yeah, have some willpower or control, right?  Well that's ok to an extent and then I just stress out about it and constantly think about it which is not doing my body any good.  I end up trying to eat something else to fill that craving and then end up caving in and eating them.  SO, NO CHIPS IN THIS HOUSE!

My weaknesses:  chips, cheese, dips, chocolate (at times), fruit punch, hotdogs, or anything else salty and BAD for me.

I can usually pass up cake at a birthday party or deserts, but when I see those chips and rotel or ranch dip it takes a lot of will power for me to pass that up. 

Worked out last night.  Went for a walk/run.  When I first started out my shins were hurting with every step I took, so I had to back up a bit and walk for a while.  Then towards the middle of my walk I started pushing myself to run a little and run a little farther each time.  It felt good and I didn't really care what people thought when they saw me becasue, "at least she's doing something,"right?  :)

I did zumba this morning.  I will ride my bike later, and then go for a walk when the kids go to bed.  I wish I was an early morning person.  I'm so determined to get up at least one time a week in the morning (about 5:30am) and go for my walk.  What a great way to start the day.  Every time I set my alarm clock to do that, I just can't seem to get up.  It is really hard to talk myself into that, that early in the morning.  Maybe tomorrow!

I'm off to watch All my Children and rest for a little while the kids are napping.

Until next time...


I feel like I'm stuck and not sure how to get over this hump.  I weighed myself this morning and I was 192.  So that means I either gained some weight or I'm bloated.  I'm hoping that maybe I'm just bloated up (because it is PMS week) and next week I'll deflate and the weight will go back down.  I'm frusterated.

I feel like I've been stuck at 192 for YEARS.  How do I get over this hump?  I think I might increase my workout to 3 times a day and see if that can get me over this.  :/ 

I felt like I was losing, losing, losing, STOP!  Is my body in "starvation" mode?  I don't think it is because I feel like I am eating enough food to not be hungry and enough calories to survive just fine. 

I know I'm at least toning up a bit, you can see that evidence in the pictures I posted the other day.

I just want to get over the 90's! I'm tired of being here.  I wanted to see 189 so bad today on the scale.  I'm sure it will happen but I'm getting nervous that I'll be stuck here for a long time and won't be able to make my August goal.  :/ 

I guess it's eat a little something for breakfast, put on my tennis shoes, and hit zumba this morning.

Maybe I'll do this:
Morning workout: zumba- 40 minutes
Lunchtime workout: bicycle- 45 minutes
Nighttime workout: Walk/Run 60 minutes
Every other day workout: Weight Training

I have GOT to get over this rut FAST!  This is causing me to get frustrated, which causes me to eat, and I don't want to gain weight because of this frustration!

Sunday, June 19, 2011

Watch out, Fat girl Running!

Tonight I went out for my walk.  I was determined to do a bit of jogging/running.  I wasn't able to run a long distance but I did run/walk for 37 minutes.  I did it!  I didn't run fast or feel like my knees were going to die.  I felt ok running (probably because it was dark and no one around).  :)  So tomorrow my goal is to run a little longer each time and see if I can go an hour (running and walking).

I got online tonight and googled "funny weight loss cartoons."  Here are a few that made me smile or laugh a little.  

Goodnight all my blogging friends.  Please, leave me a comment.  What are you doing to make yourself healthier? 

6 Weeks

It has been 6 weeks since I started on my journey to finding my inner skinny girl.  It has been hard and there have been times that I failed but I haven't let that stop me from continuing on and powering through it.

I am super excited to say that within a couple of days I should be able to see and 8 on my scale!  I haven't seen the 80's for a very long time (probably more than 5 years ago)!  I  am down to the weight I was before I got pregnant with Conner.  190!  190!  I am so close to the 80's!  I just can't wait!

I'm feeling a bit sore from my long walk I accomplished the other day.  I plan to walk today and maybe challenge myself to do 4 miles, which would probably take me an hour and 15 minutes.  I think I can do it.  That hour is almost all I can do but I think I can power through an extra 15 minutes.  Or maybe I will attempt to run.  I SUCK at running.  I feel like I hit the ground so hard and jiggle a little too much.  My knees tend to hurt after just a few steps of running.  But I'll try today.

I took pictures today of me.  I'm feeling a bit bloated (probably from the burger- no bun- I ate yesterday).  I had the BEST meal!  My favorite meal of ALL TIMES is when we grill out!  I love grilled peppers, mushrooms, tomatoes, pineapple, onions, etc.  That is what I want my last meal to be before I die!   I'll add a few grilled hot dogs to my list before I die too, because that's my favorite and who cares about calories when you're about to die, right? (didn't have any last night).  I ate a hamburger, no bun, lettuce, tomato, onion, and fresh homemade (by me) guacamole last night with fresh grilled veggies and fresh fruit salad.  It was PERFECT!  :)

Anyway, enough talk about food that makes me happy. The reason I said everything was to mention that I'm not posting a face shot, or side belly shot, or front shot, because I'm feeling bloated and I just ate at Jason's deli so I'm not looking my skinniest in the pictures.  BUT, the back side shows the difference 6 weeks has done for me.

It is AMAZING how my sides  have pulled in.  Here's a picture of before (left) and now (right).

The stars show where I can tell a difference.  The green star shows how my back fat isn't bulging from my top.  The red star is my FAVORITE- you can see how my back fat is really going down (which Jason has mentioned that he can tell a difference in that area) and pulling in... I don't have so many rolls!  The blue star show my one roll left!  So cool.  :) Oh and I could have put a big star on my butt because my butt is a lot smaller than it was. 

I've got until August 5th to lose 20 more pounds (My goal is 170) before a wedding I have to go to.  :)

I think I can manage that for sure!

Jason is going to start helping me lift weights and do some strength training.  I think it's time.  I will continue to walk daily, while we do some weight lifting every other day.

Happy Father's day by the way!

I'm off to take my Sunday afternoon nap.  Oh and I wanted to mention that I went to church today (my present to my dad) and really enjoyed it.  I felt joy sending my children off to class (especially Conner- he enjoys it so much) and I really liked listening to my dad teach the adult Bible class on the fruits of the Spirit (today was JOY).  I feel like I have joy inside me when I live a healthy life and take care of my body.  :)

Oh and I changed the settings on my blog.  You can now post comments anonymously, so please, leave me comments, I enjoy reading what you have to say.  :)

When I hit 20 pounds I will be doing a giveaway to a loyal follower.  :)

To be continued...

Saturday, June 18, 2011

I would walk 500 miles...

Well I didn't walk 500 miles but the song popped into my head this morning when I thought about blogging.

Yesterday I walked out in the 1000 degree heat (well really only like 90 something but still HOT)!  I thought I wasn't going to make it back home.  I think I might have even started hallucinating! I did drink a huge thing of water before I left and I think all that I drank poured out in sweat.  I walked about 45 minutes (a little over 2 miles).

I got new insoles and wanted to try them out (cost me over 50 dollars!).  They are suppose to help with my plantar fasciitis.  They felt comfortable and good.  So that's a good purchase.  :)

Then later in the evening I challenged myself to go for another walk and make it a total of 6 miles for the day (not including my trip to walmart, or any other walking I did yesterday).  So I went for my walk and YIPPEEE I walked 12,341 steps total yesterday.  Which equals out to a little over 6 miles.

OH BOY it felt good but then I sat down and WOW my feet were pissed at me.  They are still pissed this morning.  I felt like a really old lady walking around the house last night.  I almost cried because of the pain.  BUT, no pain no LOSS, right?  :)

Weighed myself today: 191.0
Another 1/2 pound lost.  :)
Starting weight: 204
Current weight: 191.0
Weight lost: 13 pounds
Tomorrow will be 6 weeks since I started this journey.

Is 13 pounds good for 6 weeks?

I'm off to get ready for a birthday party.  I'll post more later...

Thursday, June 16, 2011

Darn you fat girl!

I ate a great breakfast today: Oatmeal, strawberries and blueberries.
I ate a good lunch: Grilled chicken tenderloins, veggies with light ranch
Then! Fat girl took over my brain and I ate: 2 ding dongs and a glass of milk.

DARN IT!  Boy was it good.  There was no talking her out of it.  She has been thinking about the stupid ding dongs since I bought them for the KIDS.  So I'm opening up the rest of the stinkin' ding dongs and throwing them down the drain.  The kids don't need them anyway.  They'd rather eat fruit.

So I failed today.  I ate 360 calories of CRAP!

I really wanted to make myself throw up after I ate it because I felt sick.  I hate throwing up so that was just not an option.

But now I've gotta pick myself back up and keep looking forward.  I'm not going to beat myself up over this stupid mistake.

I don't know how she convinced me to eat it but she did.

At least it wasn't a whole box, right?  :P

I'm going to work out extra hard today.  But what makes me sad is that I have to burn at least 360 calories just to burn off the stupid ding dongs.  If I hadn't eaten them I would be burning off calories from food that was good for me.  Does that make sense?

I'm already up to 1200 calories today.  Most of that was good calories.  That means I'm already over my limit for the day and I still have dinner to go.  Oh well.

I stepped on the scale today and didn't see 191.5 this morning.  I need to get my butt in gear!  There are people out here that have done it, that have lost their weight.  I just so badly want to do it.  Why did I have to eat the stupid ding dongs?

I will walk today, I will do zumba today and I will ride my bike tonight.  I will, I have to, I NEED to lose this dad gum weight.

Stupid ding dongs!  >:{

EDIT: I got on my stationary bike for 45 minutes to burn the stupid ding dongs off!

Where did this crap come from?

I watched some videos on youtube that were very inspirational to me last night. 

This one particularly was very inspirational! 

It amazes me the transformation people go through and I'm so excited to be in the middle of my own transformation.  I know I have a long way to go but I can't wait until I can make a video of my own transformation.  :)

Man I've got to get my butt back into gear.  I haven't walked in a few days.  It is raining today (of course).  Hopefully it will clear off tonight and I can go for my walk. 

I'm working on cleaning this darn house up today.  I'm so sick of how much CRAP we have.  It is crazy that two people can have so much JUNK!  I think I may just start chunking it.  I mean, if we haven't touched it in a year or two then why the heck are we saving it?  I'm going to go through my clothes and start getting rid of things I don't wear or can't wear anymore.  I know that I will eventually fit back in to some of the clothes I have but when I get to that point I will go out and buy new clothes.  :)  I am looking forward to the day when I get to go do that. 

Ok enough of a break for now, time to go get back to cleaning and sorting through the piles of CRAP!

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Another Pound gone forever...

Woke up this morning, went to the bathroom, and stepped on the scale.  191.5!  Another pound gone forever, another step closer to finding this skinny girl.

That puts my total weight lost up to: 12.5 pounds

That makes every feeling I was having yesterday just go away.  I don't know what it is but every now and then I start feeling blah and scared that I'm going to gain some weight back and then I weigh myself the next day to see another lost.  Just feels good.

I felt like I didn't work out much yesterday because I didn't sweat a lot.  But after entering it into my fitness pal on my phone I realized that yes I did work out.  This morning when I woke up I noticed that my legs were sore, so I must be doing something.  :)  I did ride my stationary bike for 45 minutes yesterday.  I didn't sweat a lot doing it but I guess I worked those muscles cause they ache a bit. :)

Taking the kids to the dollar movies today to see Madagascar 2.  I sure hope they make it through the whole movie.  Then probably meeting the hubby for lunch somewhere. 

Off to finish getting ready before the kids wake up.  How come the children wake up super early when we don't have anywhere to go and they sleep in late when we have to go somewhere?  Just silly children I guess.

To be continued...

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Having an off day

I really want to lose this weight but I'm having a hard time pushing myself through working out.  I love walking.  I can do that without any problems.  I can push myself to go further and faster.  I love zumba on the wii.  I can do that for 40 minutes just fine. 

I just don't know if that's enough.  I weighed 192.5 this morning.  Haven't lost anything in the past few days.  I'm sure that's fine.  At least I haven't gained anything, right? 

I put on Billy Blanks boot camp and started it just fine.  I told Conner that if I stopped to tell me "keep going mommy, you can do it."  He did once.  Then I just got frustrated and stopped doing it.  I guess I need an energy boost today. 

I feel HUNGRY today.  I just want to EAT EAT EAT.  But I have to stop myself.  I got the kids Ding Dongs yesterday because I just remember having them in the summer as a kid... or maybe it was not just during the summer... either way, I just enjoyed them as a kid.  Boy why the heck did I do that?  Putting temptation in this house?  I can power through it and not eat any.  I can do it!  If I feel like eating them, I'm just going to throw them away.  I'd rather them not be in the house and no one eat them than to be in the house and be a constant thought in my brain.

I am going to go eat a greek yogurt and try to work out again.  Maybe while the kids are down for their nap, instead of taking a nap with them, I'll work out a bit.

I watched Extreme makeover, weight loss edition last night and WOW those big people can lose some weight fast!  200 pounds lost in a year.  AMAZING.  I'm losing only 10 pounds a month.  I just wish I could lose a lot of weight really fast and shock everyone.  But I know I would just gain it back if I did it the wrong way.

I need a personal trainer to come in and help me.  I need someone to push me and keep me going when all I want to do is just give up.  I want to be able to just work out all day long and lose this weight.

They talk about on the show "why are you doing this?  What caused this?"  It always seems to be some underlying emotional thing or trauma that caused these people to gain this weight.  So, what caused me to gain this weight?  I really don't think I have any emotional things that caused me to get fat.  I think I just started enjoying food.  Maybe I eat more when I'm stressed?  Maybe I eat when I'm bored?  Maybe I eat just cause I enjoy food and like eating?  I don't really know.  I wish I could have a breakthrough like the people on the show that gets them moving and losing all that weight.  Maybe I already did? 

When I look in the mirror I don't like what I see.  When I started this journey I had just come fed up with how I looked and how I felt.  I still get fed up but I feel better and happier when I see that scale going down.  I feel so much better when I know the work I'm doing is causing me to lose this weight and get closer to finding that skinny girl inside me.

I need to do this for my children.  I can already tell that losing some of this weight has helped give me some energy.  I want my children to remember me as an active parent, not someone who just sat on the couch watching them play.  I want to get down with the kids and play more.  I want to have enough energy to take them places or chase them around the house without getting tired after 2 minutes. 

I'm sure this will all happen with more and more weight lost.  I've just gotta get my butt up and keep on trekking.  Keep on moving.  Keep on losing this weight and find that skinny happy girl inside me that I haven't seen since my first year of college.

With all that said, it's time for this fat girl to get up and do something around the house.  Maybe I'll clean or maybe I'll play with the kids. 

To be continued...

Sunday, June 12, 2011

5 weeks

I've been on this journey for 5 weeks now.  I haven't lost any since the last time I posted (yesterday) but wanted to just post something today because I'm bored.

I went for a walk this morning.  I couldn't stand the heat and humidity so we cut it short and only went about 30 minutes.  So, later I will get my zumba on and maybe ride my stationary bike (I haven't done that in a while).

I can't remember if I said this yesterday on here but I bought The Michael Jackson Experience yesterday.  It is fun to do but not quite a workout.  I did play around with that for about 30 minutes and did sweat but it just wasn't the same as my zumba.  :)

So let's look at my weight loss this week.

Week 4: 194.5
Week 5: 192.5
Weight lost: 2 pounds
Total Weight lost: 11.5 pounds

That seems to be the magic number for me.  I wish I could lose more than this but if it means this weight is going to stay off then I'm ok with that.  I'm sure I could start some specific diet or take a magic pill or drink some magic juice that would help me lose more but would that really help me in the long run?  NO!  I have to learn how to eat right and watch my portions and learn how to eat like I'm going to eat for the rest of my life.  I can't do a "fad diet" because will I do that the rest of my life?  NO.  So I'm ok right now with losing the weight slowly (though I feel like I'm losing it fast enough).

Time to do something around the house or with the kids.  It has been one of those "WHEN IS BEDTIME" kinda days.

To be continued (oh and I decided not to take pictures until next Sunday because I just did that a few days ago)....

Saturday, June 11, 2011


Went for a good walk this morning and did Zumba on the wii.  I played outside with my oldest boy, Conner in the pool and sprinkler and I even tried to tan my flabby belly (I think it looks whiter than it did before).  Took a shower and when I got out, I weighed myself for the day.

192.5!  Another pound gone forever!  :)

So that puts my total weight loss up to 11.5 pounds.  Man that feels good.  11 extra pounds I was carrying around with me.  No wonder I am so darn tired at the end of the day.

I'm going to start watching my carbs as well as my calories and see if that helps speed up this weight loss process.  I have a wedding to go to in August and school starts back as well, so I really want to be down a couple of dress sizes before August.  I'm wondering, how many pounds I need to lose before I start really noticing a difference in my clothes?  How many pounds does it take until you start dropping clothing sizes?

All I know is I need to lose a half a pound to be under my pre-pregnancy weight for both of my children.  I think before Conner, I weighed 192... though I could be wrong.  I can't really remember.

Man it feels so good to really be losing weight and know that it's true weight and not just bloat or water.  I feel so much better.  I just can't wait until I can say, "I've lost 20, 30, 40, 50 pounds."  I can't wait to hold up the clothes I use to wear next to me and see a difference.  You know, like the jenny craig or weight watchers commercials, they do that.  :)

I hope to be wearing at least a 10 by the time school starts back up.  But really, I have no idea what weight I need to be to make that happen.  It's been a long time since I was in a 12 or a 10 even.

Anyway, I think I'm just rambling on now so I'm gonna go eat some tuna with mustard (yeah I really don't mind it) and maybe something else.  :)

To be continued...

Thursday, June 9, 2011

Picture Review

I forgot to post side by side picture this week.  So here it is (better late than never).  I will admit that I took pictures of my actual skin self at the beginning of this journey and tonight I took another set of pictures and WOW I can really tell a difference.  Sorry blog pals, you will not receive the skin pics.  You'll have to live with me in clothes for at least another couple of years!  :P  Not THAT brave yet (though I really thought about it since you could really see a difference).  

So here is just the side view today.  The one on the left was taken May 8th and the one on the right was taken yesterday (exactly 1 month).  :)

I like how each week I'm getting darker and darker.  :)  Not much, but noticeable.

The main area that I can tell a difference in is still that mid section.  It just keeps getting smaller.  In the skin pictures you can (well not you, I) see how the tightness of the tummy is starting to go away and all I'm going to be left with is saggy skin that will need to be tightened up.  Babies sure do screw up your tummy!  But hopefully I'll get that fixed one day.  I'm sure if I end up (which I plan to) losing a lot of weight and it's still a problem, hubby will let me get that fixed, right?  :)

I did Zumba on the wii for 40 minutes tonight and then went walking for an hour!  I walked about 3.5 miles tonight.  FELT GREAT!  I went further than I have ever gone (away from home) and feel so good about it!

Time to watch So you think you can dance and do some tummy crunches in bed (not sure if they really do anything but it must be better than laying there like a rock).


OVER 10!!!

I weighed in this morning!  193.5.  That's 1 more pound GONE FOREVER!

Starting Weight: 204
Current Weight: 193.5
Pounds Lost: 10.5!!!!

So if I keep this up, that would be about 10 pounds a month.  I'm hoping to lose more now that I'm home for the summer and can workout throughout the day.

I plan to walk in the morning (at least on the days when the kids are in daycare or hubby is still sleeping) and do some aerobic in the evening.  I need to get out the weights and start lifting a bit too.

I was getting a bit sad there for a minute because the scale seemed to stall out on 195.  But this morning I was a little relieved to see it dropping more. 

Today is the first day of summer vacation for me and I'm super excited.  I sent the kids to daycare and I may go with a friend to workout and lay out by the pool.  But I'm thinking that I might like to just stay home today and do nothing (other than workout).  Well and maybe I'll do some laundry or work on cleaning the house (that's good exercise too). 

I'm so ready and excited to lose more weight.  I went for a walk last night (had to really talk myself into it) and ended up walking over 3 miles in less than an hour (50 minutes).  I beat my time and speed for any walk I've done so far (using my pedometer).  I just kept thinking about fitting in to the old clothes I have laying around, being able to shop like a normal person for normal size clothes, being able to wear cute clothes again and be a girly girl that I really am deep down.  :)  I think that is what put a little pep in my step.  I also felt like there was someone behind me pushing my back and making me walk faster.  My feet are in such pain this morning from that walk but it was so worth it.  It was such a good walk last night!

So I guess I'll get my butt up and start walking before it gets too hot outside.  Man this fat girl in me keeps telling me to go lay back down, that it's summer vacation, relax.  I've got to shut her up!  She's got some good arguments.  This skinny girl needs to talk some sense into her!

(oh and did I talk about how the other day I ate a McDonalds burger and cheetos?  I guess the fat girl won that day!  DARN IT!)

I will also mention that it really made me happy yesterday when people at school told me they could tell that I'm losing weight.  Either they can really tell or they were being nice but either way it put a little spark back into this weight loss journey.  I had another teacher tell me that when he seems me after summer that I'll be cut in half, right?  At first I was really confused but then I got all excited!  Yes, after the summer I hope to be cut in half.  I hope to lose around 30 more pounds before the summer is over.  Even if I only lose 20, that will be a sucess.  I'm going to work my tail off!!!!!

So here I go blogging friends.  Here goes this 200 (oh wait, I'm under 200) pound girl to put on spandex and tennis shoes and hit the road running (well walking right now, I have had 2 children, running just isn't an option unless I'm wearing a diaper).  :P

Until next time...

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

And the verdict is...

I didn't gain weight over the weekend.  :)  I was a bit nervous that I'd do something/eat something that would cause me to gain some of the weight I've lost, back.  But I weighed myself this morning and it said:


Not much lost (half a pound) but at least it didn't go UP.  :)

I need to get back into working out.  I think it has been since last Wednesday or Thursday since I've worked out.  :0  I've got to get my groove back.  It's so darn hot outside that it's hard for me to get my bum up and workout.  But no excuses!  I will work out tonight!

Not much else to say.  Today is my last day of school with my 1st graders.  They are enjoying the outside air and playing in water right now.  I hope I don't cry before the day is over.  I've really enjoyed this group of kids!

OH! I forgot to mention that it has been 1 month since I started this weight loss journey!

Starting weight: 204
After 1 month: 194.5
Pounds lost: 9.5 (was hoping for 10 or more but that's ok)

To be continued...

Friday, June 3, 2011

Wish me luck!

Well I'm sitting here waiting for Jason to load up the car and take a shower so we can leave for our bike rally.  :)  I can't wait.  I love this yearly get together.  It is going to be so stinkin hot!  I hope I don't burn to a crisp!!! 

So last night I weighed myself and it said 192.  I was like WTF?  What is that all about?  There is no way that in the past couple of days I've lost 3 pounds!  HA!  So I stepped off and stepped back on there and it said 192 again.  I figured something was wrong or whatever so I decided I would just wait till morning and try again.  This morning I was back to my normal weight of 195.  :)  Sure was good to see though.  :P

OH!  The title of this was "wish me luck."  The reason is because I need to be good this weekend and its going to be hard to do.  We eat out every day, and drink.  I went to the store and got me a few mini veggie trays and some yogurt.  So that will be breakfast and lunch or a snack.  The rest of the time I guess I'll have to be careful in what I order.  I also got me Diet Dr. Pepper and Diet Sunkist (0 calories) to mix with cherry or vanilla "adult drink stuff."  ;) 

So I'm looking forward to leaving this house and having a nice relaxing weekend without my children (love them, but need a break)!  :)

Next time I check in will probably be late Sunday night or Monday (and I can't weigh myself until Sunday evening either!).

To be continued...

Thursday, June 2, 2011

It's been a long time!

I haven't posted in a few days!  Have I fallen off the bandwagon?  Have I given up?  Have I decided to stay fat forever?  HECK NO!  I'm going strong and still motivated to find that skinny girl in me! 

I did screw up the other day!  :(  (hangs head)  I was so super hungry and waiting around on Jason to decide what he wanted to eat and I couldn't decide because I was too hungry... I ended up eating a HUGE cheeseburger with fried peppers from SONIC.  :0  Oh man did it taste good.  I ate EVERY SINGLE GREESY BITE!  and paid for it.  My tummy didn't feel so great after eating that fat burger.  But it sure was tasty.  It stayed in my tummy for a long time and that was the only meal I ate.  Oh and Jason left me a few of his cheese tots and I ate them too!  At least I had water to drink, right?  :P

Oh and I admit... I had some hershey kisses the other day too!  I figured if I'm craving chocolate (PMS week) I better just do it and get it over with than stress and constantly think about it. So I did.

I'm still staying around 1000 calories a day.  Trying to eat healthy. 

A friend of mine let me borrow a few of her workout videos.  I put in the Jillian Michael's DVD the other night and just couldn't do it.  I can't get into workout videos.  So I popped that sucker out and put on ZUMBA and danced for 40 minutes.  I really like that.  I'm still not latin and can't follow along perfectly but at least this big butt isn't sitting in front of the TV doing absolutely nothing.  It gets my heart beating and my body moving.  I'm going to try to build up to doing 60 minutes of it.

With the 2 mess ups I did this past week, I was afraid I'd screwed it up for myself.  I was scared that I had gained it all back.

THEN! Today I jumped on the scales and saw (drum roll please).......


Lost another pound!!!!!  WOOHOO!

So that puts me up to 9 pounds lost!  The end of this week will be my 1 month mark!  I'm hoping I can lose another pound before Sunday so I can be up to 10 pounds.  Seems logical... however, I'm going out of town this weekend!  There will be adult beverages, eating out every meal... so this could get bad.

I plan to take healthy foods with me and I've got to figure out what kind of beverage would be the best thing to drink while I'm there.

Oh, I'm going to get my toes done today.  I think I'll do french tip.  :)

Ok I guess that's all for now.

Starting weight: 204
Current weight: 195
Pounds lost: 9!

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