Wednesday, June 22, 2011

No Bueno!

WARNING-  The blog you are about to read is not meant for the squeamish, this post is not sugar coated, do not read if you don't want to hear about my bowels.  :)  With that said... if you're still here, enjoy.

I have a book that I read to Conner called "Everyone Poops."  Well this week that book is just not true for me.  I am clogged up.  I feel bloated and am having a hard time going to the bathroom.  (sorry I warned you)  So I was talking to my mom today and she said to take Ducolax (aka liquid plumber for the body!) before bed and when I wake up I should have a "movement."  So I went to the store and got this little box.  Inside this little box were very tiny orange pills.  It said to take 1-3, so seeing how tiny the pill was, I took 2.  That was at 6pm.  I ate dinner, put the kids to bed, and went for my walk.  When I got home I went to lay down and watch So you think you can dance.  Not 1/2 way into it my stomach started talking to me... let me change that... my stomach started screaming at me!  I ran to the bathroom (well I couldn't run because my tummy was in pain, I thought I was going to burst from the pressure- like a balloon being blown up inside me with not escape).  Nothing.  So I went back to bed and then jumped back up again and ran to the bathroom and PA POW it hit me!  I never knew such a tiny pill could be so deadly, so powerful!  I am still cramping and I'm afraid I won't be able to sleep tonight. 

I've got the chills, feel feverish, cramping, and my stomach is talking to me loudly. 

NO BUENO!  and to think my mom said to take this 3 nights.  BULL SH@# I will not be taking this tiny death pill again!  I'll stick to eating more fiber.

So there's my review on DUCOLAX!  DON'T DO IT!

And in other news, tonight while I was walking, a truck passed me and hollered at me.  Now I am not sure if the guy is a chubby chaser, trying to scare me, or actually checking me out, but WHO THE HECK CARES.  It kinda put a little more pep to my step.  :)  Stare all you want at this fat girl in spandex!  :P

And on that note I must go visit the bathroom again. 

I really want to weigh myself after all this "movement."  :P


  1. For a "not so old people solution" as prunes, try eating a handful or 2 of raisins throughout the day... It helps me EVERY time :o) I used to do a fruit detox (i have lots of colon malfunctions-it hates me im sure lol). If you like canteloupe eat a 1/4 of one every 2-4 hours til its gone and that should give ya a nice flush too... :o)

  2. Oh girl. I took Dulcolax approximately ONCE too in early pregnancy when I thought I wuz going to have to go to the hospital after like a week of being stopped up. My stomach bubbled and cramped for like 12 hours but then felt SO much better. I think maybe we're just sensitive to it and it's supposed to be mild (and I took it with like prune juice and a couple other food remedies like that). Increasing fiber doesn't necessarily help unless you drink MORE WATER. I think that's the best thing of all to do to stay regular once you get yourself fixed. DRINK WATER EVERY TIME YOU CAN POSSIBLY MAKE YOURSELF DRINK WATER ALL DAY LONG.

  3. use saline laxative! it's way more gentle than dulcolax.

  4. Dulcolax can be pretty harsh sometimes. If you do need to take something, still to just a stool softener (colace). Senna is a good one. The Dulcolax is a softener and laxative, which you may not have actually needed. You know with my surgeries I've had (one being on my bowel), my surgeon recommended a little dose of Mirilax everyday. I put about a half dose in my coffee everyday.

    And the water thing is a big deal. Lots and lots of water. If you up the fiber without the water, it can really stop you up and make you very uncomfortable.



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