Monday, July 18, 2011

SORE

I am so sore today.  My feet hurt so bad that I can't really walk this morning.  Planter's fasciitis sucks! 

I think every one of my leg muscles hurts, my shoulders hurt, my chest hurts. 

But it feels so good.  I know that I've worked my tail off really good the past couple of days (more than other days in a while) and it feels great.  I enjoy working out.  Now if only I wasn't so sore to get up and do zumba this morning.  I just don't think my body will let me.  I may sick to riding my stationary bike this morning because it's already so hot outside.

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Ok so I was trying to keep this post all happy or whatever but I just don't feel happy today.  I'm proud of how far I've come in the past 10 weeks but I'm feeling a bit sad today.  I know that maybe I'm gaining muscle and blah blah muscle weighs more than fat.  But I know I've got a lot of fat in there that should be leaving me and the scales just aren't reflecting that this week.  I feel like I'm stuck again and I'm scared I may be going up the scale.  I feel like I'm working my tail off and burning enough calories throughout the day, it's just not going down.  :/  I hate to just dwell on the number I see, but I can't help it.  I want to lose weight and to me, that shows up on the scale.  I know for sure that I've got more muscle than I use to- but really? how much more does muscle weigh than fat?  I just think that's a lame excuse or lame reason to not seeing pounds come off.

I have stuck to my "plan" for the past 10 weeks with only a few slip ups.  I have stayed under or around 1000-1200 calories a day with a lot of those days being way under.  I have stuck with working out almost every day! 

It is so hard to have the patience with losing weight.  I want to see results constantly and it sucks when I get to a week and I see nothing, no movement on the scale.

I see changes in my clothes for sure.  I know I'm losing inches and I know I'm getting smaller.  I know that is a great way to know that even though the scale doesn't say it, the clothes do. 

I'm just afraid that I'm doing something wrong.  I gave in yesterday for a few extra bites and told myself I wasn't going to feel guilty about it, but I do.  I feel guilty about every bite I put in my mouth.  All I see when I put food in my mouth is "calories" and "working it off."  I guess that's part of learning to eat differently and having a different lifestyle than I use to.  I use to just eat whatever the heck I wanted and sometimes I'd say "in moderation."  Which is a JOKE!  If you are saying "in moderation" every day, do you really think it's in moderation?  NO! 

Anyway, enough of me ranting away about how down in the dumps I feel right now.  I'm going to go drink me a protein drink and get on my bike and ride far far away in my mind to a place where I'm skinny and a place where I can stick my feet in the sand, wearing a bikini, and drinking a big margarita.  :) 

4 comments:

  1. Hey Leah-

    I would be careful with going as low with calories as you are. It is recommended to not drop below 1200 calories because that puts your body into starvation mode and then you will start storing fat rather than burning it. I stick to 1200-1500 depending on how active I am that day.

    You are doing awesome! You WILL see the results from your efforts!

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  2. It is hard to stay happy when things are looking so positive to you. But they are looking SO AWESOME to your readers!! So yeah. :P

    You are doing a great job. Just keep it up, the scale will catch up to you.

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  3. I have been feeling the same exact way lately. Crazy how we get angry that the scale doesn't go down fast enough but we weren't doing anything serious about it when it was going up? I have been eating good and working out and the scale isn't budging but I can't and refuse to give up I am going to just keep going, you will have plateaus through out this journey it's normal. Its your body rebeling againest all the good your doing for it, tell it to shut up and keep going and you will see results again. But I can so relate on this post!

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  4. Plateaus are a part of weight loss that are the pits. Perservere through it!

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