Monday, September 12, 2011


Bleh, so today was my first doctors appointment.  I didn't see a doctor at all.  I saw the bill person, nutritionist person, and lab tech.  Easy peasy. 

Good news- blood pressure looked good and she said it was perfect (didn't tell me my numbers).  Usually my blood pressure is high.  I wonder if losing weight affects your blood pressure? 

Bad news- didn't get to see a doctor to hear heartbeat yet, had to pee in a cup, and my weight is UP! 

Bleh!  I knew it was and was avoiding the scale because I knew I had gained weight.  What I didn't realize is just how much I have gained since finding out I was pregnant. 

I don't feel like admitting how much weight I've gained or what I actually weigh... but maybe being honest will help wake me up and slap my butt into gear.

Truth is I weight 189!  Yes it was at the end of the day, on a loaded bladder... but that wouldn't change things much.  :/  I feel so pissed at myself.

I'm now in my work out gear ready to tackle this weight issue.  I'm sure um like 1 pound could be all the gas I now have, 1 pound could be baby (yeah right), and ummm the rest... ME!  I am now determined to get my butt out there and run until I fall.

Going to get the big boy to bed, put on my running shoes, turn on Michael Jackson on my ipod, and hit the concrete.  Wish me luck. 

Saturday, September 10, 2011

I walked the other day...

So the last time I blogged I said I was going to get up and put my workout clothes and shoes on as a start.  Well after I posted, I got up and put my gear on.  After getting the kids to bed I forced myself to go for a walk/run.  I did it!  I had to hold my pants up the entire time I ran because they kept sliding down.  I guess it's time for a size smaller... though I'm sure in a few months they will be back on me with an ever growing belly.

I haven't walked since and I keep eating crap.  I have GOT to do something!  I get frusterated at myself but it is my fault if I gain weight back and it's my fault alone if I fall completely off the weight loss wagon.

I am hoping that after the first stage of this pregnancy is over that I can get back up and do something.  I have been sick, tired, and if I eat a little constantly I feel ok.  So that's what I've been doing, eating constantly.  Not everything I put in my mouth is crap, but whatever doesn't make me want to throw up ends up going in.  :)  I have noticed that if I eat a yogurt and a banana in the morning that I feel better until lunch.  I didn't do that today and I've felt off.  Could be a fluke but whatever helps I'm going to try.

I am now home for the weekend and good thing it's the weekend because I'm sick sick sick.  I went to be last night crying a little because my throat hurt so darn bad.  I woke up this morning to the same soreness but after having some hot tea (decaf) it soothed it enough for a while.

I feel like I'm already starting to show.  I mean, it's only been a year and a half since I was last pregnant, my body knows what to do with this 3rd one.  I asked another friend who's pregnant with her 3rd how far along she was when she started to notice and she said about 2 and a half months.  I'll be 10 weeks tomorrow.  So I'm sure I'm going to start wearing maternity clothing soon.

What a great feeling is that my size 14's are still a bit big on me.  :)  I really notice in my legs and butt how lose things fit. 

I'm sure I'm gaining weight.  I mean I can't go from eating 1000 calories or so to not counting and eating more and NOT gain weight.  I will make a big effort this week to make sure the things that go in my mouth are healthy and not crap.  I am going to start forcing myself to work out at least 2-3 times a week.  That would be a start in the right direction and I know I need to get back into things.

What really makes me a bit inspired are the people I inspired to start doing something about their health and life.  What really makes me happy is when I hear about friends who are losing weight and working out because of me.  How can I let them down by gaining all my weight back?  How can I let them down by eating crap and not caring and giving up?  I can't and I won't so I must get back up on the horse and ride.

They say (Oh like Dr. Oz or something) not to start a diet on Monday for some reason but I think I may challenge myself to start back on a more strict healthy diet and exercise on Monday. 

My first doctors appointment is on Monday.  So maybe by the next time I go, I will have lost weight instead of gaining.  :) 

Anyway, don't give up fat people, keep it up.  Reach down inside of you and find that inner skinny person that wants to come out and fight for your life, your health, and your happiness. 

As for me, I need to listen to my own darn advice and do something.  Just because I'm pregnant doesn't mean I can't continue to be healthy and lose weight.  So somehow I've got to reach down deep inside me and make a change.... I hope that I can do that soon...

Until we meet again...

Sunday, September 4, 2011

Not running tomorrow...

Well I have decided that I will not be running in my 5K I signed up for a while back tomorrow.  :/  I haven't worked out in a while and just don't want to look like a fool.  I feel like crap and have absolutely no energy. Oh and what wonderful weather it would have been too.  So many people said, "It's going to be too hot!" But looks like the weather tomorrow is in the 70's!  REALLY?  It has been in the 90's for forever!

I'm going to try and get my ass up and walk in a couple of hours.  I may just go ahead and get my workout clothes on so I won't have an excuse later.

I gave myself an excuse the other day because I had left my ipod at school and wouldn't have music so I didn't go.  LAME!

I brought it home the next day so I wouldn't have that lame excuse again.

I keep getting a twinge of desire to get my butt into gear and get back out there.  I'm sure that will make me feel better... if I don't throw up on myself.  I have a constant feeling of nausea.  That sucks!

So I'm 9 weeks today.  I'm ready for this 1st trimester to be over.  I feel so out of it and have no energy whatsoever.  I'm done feeling this way for sure. 

I am done with the lame excuses.  I am done blaming my lack of working out on being pregnant.  I'm done blaming my terrible eating habits on being pregnant. 

So something must change in me.  Lately every time I post, I tell you at the end that I am going to get up and work out and then I do nothing.  What a good lier I am huh? 

Well I am not going to say that I WILL workout today but I will say that I am going to put my workout clothes on in hopes that I can convince myself to do something.

Children- though this is my "losing weight motivational blog" (Sorry it hasn't been that... but it will again be this some day), I wanted to just mention the two children I have for a minute.  Usually I am DONE being a mother by this time on a Sunday and look forward to sending them to daycare.  The past week (maybe more maybe less) I have seen my children as CUTE and incredibly loveable, huggable, squeezable.  Yes at times I am ready for their nap or bed time but lately I just can't stand how stinkin cute they are.  Everything they do is so sweet.  Maybe it's the pregnancy?  Maybe I'm being sentimental?  I don't know what it is but I feel such joy and happiness from my children and can't help but want to be around them.  I have a feeling that it's the hormones running through my body causing me to be all emotional.  Either way, I love my children and wouldn't trade them for anything in this world.

Oh and did I mention that my sister just had her 4th child.  Seeing that baby and holding that 7 pound itty bitty sure did help me feel a twinge of excitement for what's to come.  I mean, I can't be upset about it much longer.  I must embrace what's to come and some how get over the fact that this child that wasn't planned and wasn't meant to be... will be and this child will be loved.  :)

Ok, so time to go get my darn workout outfit on... let's hope it still fits!  :)  WISH ME LUCK!

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