Thursday, September 20, 2012

A happy day in our house! 1st GRADE!

Here is another non-weight loss blog but an update from my previous non-weight loss blog.

I will say that I am trying to be better as far as what I eat but I am so sleepy that I haven't been working out (and I had McDonald's today).

So since we last spoke we have still been having problems with Conner.

Yesterday he got sent home for hitting another student.  He got super excited about his extra computer time that he slapped another kid in the back.  I felt kinda sorry for him because he couldn't control himself!  He didn't do it our of anger at all, just "so excited."  But the plan was for him to go home, since he hit another child.

Today, the counselor (FANTASTIC COUNSELOR) went into the classroom to help out his teacher.  She is doing everything she knows how and trying her hardest to handle Conner.  She has other students who are behavior problems too and I think she feels extremely overwhelmed.

While the counselor was in the classroom he gave Conner a bracelet and gave him a sticker for every time he made a good choice.  That worked for a while but then I think he got in trouble (I can't remember exactly) for I think spanking another student on the bottom.  He ended up tearing up the bracelet and was brought down to the office.

ok kinda off subject here but when Conner was in the office the principal had some white out tape and she said, "Hey Conner, do you know what this does?  Well see, I made a mistake here.  Look, my mistake is gone."  Then she pretended to "wipe out" Conner (get it, she erased his mistakes).  She said that Conner got his big grin on his face and kinda laughed.  I thought that was really funny and Conner got the humor of her joke! (one smart cookie)

Anyway, the counselor also noticed that while doing group time or work that Conner had an easy time and seemed maybe a little bored.

So I was called into the office and we talked for a while about moving Conner up to 1st grade to see how he does.  We have a 1st grade teacher who has been trained in dealing with children with Autism/Aspergers and even sensory issues.  I was very excited for Conner when that was mentioned to me because I had been thinking a lot about what to do with him and I had even considered the possibility of moving him up (to her room in particular).

So everyone was talked to and Conner was told what was going to happen and he got moved into the room after lunch/recess.

I peeked out my room when I saw them walking down the hallway to go to their specials class (art today) and she said that he was doing great and she didn't have any problems with him.

Maybe this is going to be great for him.  He will still technically (for now) be considered a kindergarten student but he will spend his day in 1st grade.

I am one happy and proud mom now.  Hopefully we aren't in the "honeymoon" phase right now.  I hope that he will be more confident and excited about going to school.

I feel a little lighter and happier today. 

I know that his Kindergarten teacher was trying her hardest with him and doing everything she was given or suggested to do with him but for some reason the environment just wasn't working out for him (but maybe he can eventually learn some strategies and learn how to behave at school and work his way back into Kindergarten). 

He came home today talking about some annoying kid in his class who acts out and interrupts during class (HA!  he was that child in kindergarten).  He also talked about a child he remembered from his old daycare.

So, I'm grateful to work at a school and have my child at a school with people who are open to trying new things and looking out for the good of the child.

Tomorrow Conner has a doctor's appointment to get him a referral from his doctor to get tested.  Can't WAIT!

Until we meet again... maybe I'll have something to say about my weight loss!  HA!

Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Not a weightloss entry... my child...

Yes I know, I've been MIA for a while!  I've fallen off the blogging world, weight loss world, my fat girl has taken over.  But there is hope.  Today I went to Chick-Fil-A and didn't get fries!  I got a salad.  :)  Baby steps, right?  :)  I haven't really gained any weight but I haven't gone down either.  I can tell that from all the CRAP I've been eating that my tummy is bloated and I feel tired all of the time.

Being tired could be because I also started back to teaching.  I moved to Kindergarten this year and am enjoying it.  The first week of course I wanted to go home and cry and give up.  But they are slowly learning the rules and doing great... most of them.

Speaking of Kindergarten, my baby started Kindergarten this year.  I warned everyone at the end of last year that he was going to be a handful and everyone assured me that once he started school he would do great.  Wellllll, not so much.

I am so sad today.  Conner had a very bad day.  I feel so sorry for him.  I have already met with the principal, his teacher, and the counselor about him and ways to help him.  He is having a hard time in a group setting and a hard time transitioning from one thing to the next.  There is so much I could say and explain but right now I'll just say that we feel he has aspergers.  I have been told this by more than one place.

At his daycare when he was about 3 I think, the owners of the daycare mentioned to me the possibility of him having asperger tendencies (both of the owners are/were special education teachers).  Well at the time I took this very hard.  Here's my baby, with something wrong.  So I put off testing and just blamed the daycare and blamed the people who were teaching him.  I just figured it wasn't structured enough, it was the other kids, he was just a normal boy.

I talked to other people who just told me that he'd learn how to behave and that he would grow out of it...

So after more and more problems and nothing but "bad days," I moved him when he was 4 to a pre-school.  I thought the "structure" and learning environment would help change the way he was behaving.  He had been at the daycare for pretty much his whole life. 

He did GREAT for the first couple of weeks... or so I thought.  Then I started talking to his teacher about his behavior and at the time it was the yelling out and the cussing.  We eventually got the foul language under control and then came the screaming out, yelling at the teacher, not doing what he was told, so on and so forth.

We started a behavior calendar with him and started making a little progress.  They mentioned to me that maybe he was having some sensory issues.  So ok I can deal with that, sensory issues.  Give him something heavy to cary across the room, let him plug his ears when it's too loud or go to a different spot in the room to "get away" from the noise.

Right as I started getting him some help and working with him, I had Rylan and we were home for the summer.  I started looking forward (nervously) to him going off to Kindergarten, enjoying school, and getting better... more "normal."

School started and the very first day of school he was sent to the office.  I can't remember what for (since there has been so many problems) but it was either hitting, yelling, running away, or not doing what he was told.

Since then we have met with the principal, counselor, and his teacher and that's when it hit me like a ton of bricks.  It isn't the environment around him, it isn't his teacher, it isn't the other kids, it's Conner.  My child IS different.

It really hit me and opened my eyes when the district school psychologist came in to observe him and without being told which child she was there to observe she had him picked out within seconds of walking into the room.  It hit me even more when she handed me a Aspergers rating scale form to fill out and I was looking for a higher number to rate him on most questions! (from 0-3... where's the 4!)

It made me so sad to see him in the hallways so frustrated that people were "cheating" when he couldn't get his shoe back on and other kids were going around him in line.  It made me so sad when he came back to the classroom screaming and angry because he didn't get a prize at the assembly for "self-control."  It made me really sad when I took him into my classroom to talk to him and ask him why he was so frustrated today and he said, "mommy, I HATE SCHOOL! I don't want to be here to learn anything."  It made me so sad to see someone trying to play tag with him and he was so confused and angry that she was chasing him (ok it was sad but a little funny).

He is on a sticker chart to try and help.  I'm not sure it's helping at all.  But today he got 4 which is better than yesterday (2).  It made me want to cry when he came into my room earlier and on his way out he said, "goodnight mommy, I love you, tomorrow I'll get more stickers I hope." Oh he wants to be good, he wants to do what's right, he just doesn't know how and his little brain works and functions differently than other kids.

I want him to be happy, I want him to love school, I want him to learn,... but I know that it's not going to be easy, that we are going to have to learn how to deal with him better....

Which brings me to testing and the diagnosis... Insurance is CRAP!  Let me just say that I have been trying to get him in to be tested.  I'm in the process of switching from Jason's work insurance to my school insurance (because Jason got another job and he won't be on insurance for 3 months).  I was told by one place where I was going to take Conner to be diagnosed that my insurance would probably not cover it.  Without insurance it would cost 2400 dollars for him to be tested!  So feel free to donate to the Asperger testing fund!  I won't be able to get him tested for that price.  I'm going to have to check around with other places and see what I can do.  For now I'll go the school route and see what my steps are to getting him some help (and everyone at school has been great so far without him even being tested!!!).

I feel so emotionally drained.  It has been a very stressful day today... so much on my mind.

I'm getting sick and I think it's because of the stress.  So on that note, I'll leave the blogging world and join the TV world and watch Big Brother.

Thanks for listening... until next time... hopefully soon! 

Saturday, August 4, 2012

Doing something right!

So I know I must be doing something right because the pounds just keep falling off.  I feel like they are falling off faster than they did the last time I lost weight.

I was still 207.5 the other day.  (my days are getting a little confusing)

I worked really hard in my classroom yesterday, moving furniture and putting things in various places (I have a long way to go). So I knew I had burned a ton of calories.

I drank a ton of oolong tea (watered down a bit) yesterday and ate fairly well (I will admit I ate a little burger that Conner didn't eat).  I had my shake for breakfast, salad from wendy's (they have fairly descent dressings!), and for dinner a salad from chick fil a.  I don't remember snacking last night either. 

Woke up this morning and weighed in!  205.5!  That's another 2 pounds lost!!!  2 POUNDS!  CRAZY!

I worked really hard again in my room.  I ate a small breakfast burrito from sonic and a kid size slush (I know, bad), 1 double cheeseburger from McDonalds for lunch (nothing else, I know that was probably bad too).  I am 100% certain that I burned all those calories working in my room today.

So that puts my weight lost up to: 13 pounds in 19 days!  :)

Sure does feel good. 

Off to put my feet up and rest and maybe take a shower.  :)

Until next time...

Thursday, August 2, 2012

Another pound bites the dust! And my crazy children!

That's what I sang to myself as I got on the scale this morning!  I was down another 1.5 pounds!  Putting my total up to 11 pounds now.

It just feels so great!  Every day I think I've done bad and then get up to confirm that I am doing great.

I worked out a bit yesterday but it was here and there and not really a full blown hour workout.  I had to stop multiple times to take care of children.  So I'm not really sure how long I worked out. 

It seems to me that I must burn more calories riding my bike than walking.  I sure feel more worn out when I walk though.   I just seem to wake up the next day and have lost weight after riding my bike.  Could be a fluke though.

I taking a break tonight from working out.  It was just too late by the time I got everyone in bed.  I wish I was a morning person and could go walking early early but every time I try, I hit the snooze!

My workout tomorrow is going to be up at school moving furniture and getting my room ready.  If I can just get in there for a few hours and move everything where I want it I will be super happy.  I got some fun stuff from the freebie table at school.  I'm gonna take me some bleach and clean it all up there in the sink in my room.  I'm thinking that my kiddos will do just fine being up there because I have toys for them to play with.  Here's hoping for the best.

I love the app "my fitness pal!"  If you have it you need to add me as your friend!  :)  I'm lhall2 on there.  I love getting out there and I have like 3 friends now.  :)  It is so cool, you can track your weight and measurements, food you eat, and more.  So if you don't have that, you need to get it.  You can also do it through the web.

So this was like a little random post of stuff not in any order.

This is my weight loss blog but I want to blog a few funny things about my children today since I complain talk about them a lot.

Last night I was on my bike and Conner jumped up and got in my chair I usually sit in.  He grabbed my boppy pillow and his bear.  He said, "I'm gonna sit in your chair and nurse my bear."  I quickly grabbed my camera!  HOW FUNNY!  He's gonna hate me for taking that picture when he's older.

Today I had Conner with me at school while we tested our incoming kindergarten students.  Conner got up into a teacher's loft in her room and it wasn't ready for kids yet.  The teacher told him to come down and his response was, "I'm not coming down until you tell me to come down PLEASE."  So she did and he came down!  HA!  He got up there on a different time and told another teacher that he wouldn't come down until she said pleasy cheesey!  What an ornery little child I've raised!

But lucking he found a teacher who he likes and is quite attached to.  In the car on the way to lunch he told her to sit by him and gave her a set of headphones so she could watch Fraggle Rock with him.  So cute.  She doesn't know what she's in for... or maybe she does.  I think he will do great with her.  She says that she is very structured, which is what I think he needs. 

Today my father-in-law watched Lauren and Rylan while I was up at school.  I came home after lunch to drop off Conner and walked into my father-in-law covered in bright orange baby poo.  He said that Rylan had a massive blow out!  HA!  He then told me when I got home that for some reason the diapers I have for him just don't seem to fit right or they were too big.  I walked in the room to find a sleeping Rylan in one of Conner's shirts and Lauren's diaper.  :)  No wonder they don't fit right.  But I can't blame the poor old man, he is going blind.  :)  I'm just happy to have family close enough that are willing to help out.

Tonight Jason put Lauren to bed.  He was very proud of himself that she didn't scream like she has been doing.  He walked over and said, "Wanna know how I got her to bed without screaming!?"  He said he put all of her babies face down and told her she had to be quiet because all of her babies are sleeping.  :)  HA!  The things we do to trick our children.  A friend of mine reminded me of that Febreze commercial.  I tried to find it on youtube but couldn't. 

And on that note... I'm tired!  Off to bed I go!

Until we meet again my little blog stalkers!...

Tuesday, July 31, 2012

Holy Freakin' scale batman!

Got up this morning a little nervous to step on the scale.  Not sure why I'm nervous every day.  I'm eating right and working out like I should.

I didn't go walking last night but I did ride my stationary bike until my butt was raw.  I had to stop a few times and stand up.

I snacked around yesterday and the only meal I really ate was dinner.  By snacking, I mean healthy snacking (kashi bar, hummus and melba toast, grapes, etc.)

So I got on the scale today and saw.... drum roll please!!!!! 209!  :) 

9.5 pounds gone for good!

What a great feeling.  It was totally worth me fighting myself about having that darn bowl of cookies and cream ice cream.  Worth fighting myself to get up and ride my bike last night.  Worth forcing myself to walk the extra mile!  :)

In other news, I watched Dr. Oz yesterday.  What a great show.  He was talking about different things to help burn fat in certain parts of your body.  He then talked about raw coffee bean extract to help burn fat all over.  So... I ordered me some and can't want to start taking the pill for a little added boost.  I hope that with me eating better and working out and taking the little coffee pill that maybe it will help me continue to lose.  :)  Or it may not work at all.  Who knows.  At least it's all natural.

My little baby has his 4 month old checkup today.  :(  I can't remember if he gets shots but probably.  I'm taking all 3 kids with me!  :O  Wish me luck.

Speaking of children, Rylan is happily (for the most part) watching sesame street, Conner went with his grandpa to the bank (he gets up and runs across the street almost every morning to see him), and Lauren is just now waking up!  So time to start breakfast, baths, and getting everyone dressed and ready for the day.


Monday, July 30, 2012

Week 2 Measurements and Weight

So today I have completed 2 weeks of my journey towards finding my inner skinny girl (round 2).

I weighed in this morning at: 210.5  Making a total loos of 8 pounds!  Not bad for 2 weeks.

Here are my measurements:

7/30/12 Measurements and Weight 210.5

  • Waist: 43.5"(lost 2.75 inches)
  • Hips:46" (lost 2.5 inches)
  • Chest:44" (lost 1.5 inches)
  • Neck:14.5" (lost 1 inch)
  • Leg: 26" (lost .5 inch)
  • Arm: 14" (lost .5 inch)

Not bad I think.  My arms and leg will probably lose more in the next 2 weeks with more walking.  I knew I had lost a couple of inches around my waist because my shirts feel a little different.

I'll have Jason take pictures of me tonight when he gets home from work.  Total inches lost off my body: 8.75  (about a pound for every inch)

This is what makes losing weight fun!  Looking at the numbers and seeing progress!

Time for my protein shake.  Check back later for updates....

Sunday, July 29, 2012

Dealing with food addiciton/ Eating disorder

So I've said in the past that I think I'm a food addict.  I am constantly consumed with food.  It seems like my day revolves around food.  I was like this in high school.

Let's go back to high school.  Junior year of high school was a bad year for me.  I went through what I think now is depression.  There was a time in that year where all I would eat during the day was sunflower seeds, no doze, and a lot of caffeine.  I weighed around 100-110 pounds and wore a size 0-2.  I don't really think I liked myself.  Even being skinny, I never really though I was thin enough.  When I looked in the mirror all I saw were things that I needed to change about my body. I had my group of friends but I wasn't really popular.  I tried to fit in with the popular crowd but I always felt different inside.  I was very self conscious and shy.  I'm not sure when everything changed for me but I think it was when I moved away right before my senior year of high school.

I became active in my church's youth group, met Jason and fell in love.  I then started gaining weight and felt happy about myself.  Jason loved me the way I was and I think I was just in a better place in my head.  I felt pretty and sexy and beautiful when I was around him.  He brought me back to life in a sense.  He was a year older than me so I was dating a college guy!  :)  He use to bring me breakfast before school every day.  We could leave campus for lunch and I would go out to eat with him a lot.  I use to always joke that Jason was the one who helped me to love food.

Now I can't seem to get food out of my head.  I love cooking and I love eating good foods.

I gained weight my senior year but was still active enough and maintained my weight at around 115-120.  It was over the next few years that I gained even more.  I was rather active in college that I never really gained the "freshman 15" and stayed my little skinny self.

After college I got married and started my teaching career.  I loved cooking and loved making good unhealthy yummy foods for Jason.  I wasn't as active and eventually my weight started getting out of control.  I got pregnant and then my weight just kept going down hill.  I think a lot of it had to do with feeling so tired teaching kindergarten and coming home to my own children that all I would do was put them to sleep and put myself to sleep!

So let's go back to the way my mind works.  I looked up the wiki on "food addiction" and found compulsive overeating.  I don't really think I binge eat but there are times when I am dieting that I have thrown in the towel and had a whole bag of chips, ice cream, pizza, etc.  Here is what wiki says about compulsive overeating:
Compulsive overeating, also sometimes called food addiction, is characterized by an obsessive/compulsive relationship to food. Professionals address this with either a behavior-modification model or a food-addiction model.[1] An individual suffering from compulsive overeating disorder engages in frequent episodes of uncontrolled eating, or binge eating, during which they may feel frenzied or out of control, often consuming food past the point of being comfortably full. Binging in this way is generally followed by feelings of guilt and depression. Unlike individuals with bulimia, compulsive overeaters do not attempt to compensate for their binging with purging behaviors such as fasting, laxative use or vomiting. Compulsive overeaters will typically eat when they are not hungry. Their obsession is demonstrated in that they spend excessive amounts of time and thought devoted to food, and secretly plan or fantasize about eating alone. Compulsive overeating usually leads to weight gain and obesity, but not everyone who is obese is also a compulsive overeater. While compulsive overeaters tend to be overweight or obese, persons of normal or average weight can also be affected.
In addition to binge eating, compulsive overeaters can also engage in grazing behavior, during which they return to pick at food throughout the day. These things result in a large overall number of calories consumed even if the quantities eaten at any one time may be small. When a compulsive eater overeats primarily through binging, he or she can be said to have binge eating disorder.

And here are the signs and symptoms:
  • Binge eating, or eating uncontrollably even when not physically hungry (YES)
  • Eating much more rapidly than normal (YES)
  • Eating alone due to shame and embarrassment (YES, in my room, I've run to the room with food before, I've hidden food)
  • Feelings of guilt due to overeating (YES)
  • Preoccupation with body weight (ALWAYS)
  • Depression or mood swings (YES)
  • Awareness that eating patterns are abnormal (Now I do)
  • Rapid weight gain or sudden onset of obesity (not really but a little)
  • Significantly decreased mobility due to weight gain (not really)
  • History of weight fluctuations (a little)
  • Withdrawal from activities because of embarrassment about weight (YES)
  • History of many different unsuccessful diets (YES- until I realized I needed a lifestyle change)
  • Eating little in public, but maintaining a high body weight (Sometimes)
  • Very low self esteem and feeling need to eat greater and greater amounts. (YES)

Right after I give in and eat the junk I feel very guilty and depressed about what I just did.  I can't force myself to throw up so I just deal with the guilt.  Some times when I deal with the guilt, I go eat more.  But most of the time I just think about it, beat myself up for it, ask myself why, and move on.

I feel like there is this constant battle going on inside me with my fat girl and skinny girl and a lot of the times the fat girl wins.

HOWEVER, this blogging world has really helped me open up myself and really dig deep to the issues I have.  I feel that having a support system and knowing there are people out here reading what I write and feeling the same way and working towards the same goals has really helped me keep it up.  The skinny girl has been winning these mind battles more often lately.  She's still quite weak and at times the fat girl and skinny girl have a compromise about whatever it is I'm wanting to eat.

I don't like the way I look.  I don't like how fat my face is, how I've got stretch marks and squishy belly, cellulite on my butt and legs, saggy boobs (thanks kids), and huge forehead (can't help that part), big arms, but I have to keep telling myself that I'm a work in progress and I will be skinny again, I will have muscles, I will wear smaller clothes and get to go shopping in normal stores!  I WILL and I CAN do it!

Tomorrow is my official 2 week weigh in and measurements and pictures.  I don't think we will see much difference.  I feel like I've done ok but I feel like I could have done better. 

I went walking tonight and made it an hour.  3.5 miles.

Thanks for reading the personal inside scoop into my brain and the way it functions.  Now get off your butt and go lose some weight!

Until we chat again...

Saturday, July 28, 2012

I thought I had done bad...

I thought for sure this morning I wouldn't see any movement on the scale.  I knew I had gone way over in sodium yesterday and ate more calories than I thought I should have.  I did however take my body cues and ate when my tummy told me to eat and stopped when I felt full but not stuffed. 

I had around 1800 calories yesterday, more than I've had in a while.  I did go swimming and I did walk my hour yesterday.

So I was really nervous to hop on the scale.  But I did and I am down .5 a pound.  :)  Hey, better than nothing or better than going up.  I was just sure I was gonna go up.

Today I plan to drink drink drink my water!  I don't think I drank enough yesterday at all.

I am happy to see the scale moving down for sure.  That puts my total lost in less than 2 weeks to 7 pounds.  If I can lose one more pound before Monday then I will have lost 4 pounds a week.  And I'm doing it healthy.  I'm not starving myself.  I'm working out and eating healthy.  That's what "dieting" is all about.  It's a lifestyle change.

I can also tell a difference in how my stomach feels.  That part just below my boobs is not as bloated feeling and doesn't pooch out like it had before.  I'm not sure I can tell in my face yet though.  I guess we shall see on Monday when I take my pictures (might do it Sunday cause that's how I did it the last go round)

So I'm off to shop for clothes for my husband with one child today!  YAY!  I've got a fantastic friend who offered to watch Lauren and Conner is over at my mom's house.

Well Jason is talking 90 miles an hour (must have already taken his ADD pill) so I can't really concentrate.

Off to get everyone ready...

Friday, July 27, 2012

Walk Complete!

I tried to get out earlier tonight and go walking while it was still light outside but again that just didn't happen.  I got to talking to my husband about stuff going on and then realized it was getting dark.  Nursed the baby and then it was well after 9 before I put my shoes on, checked facebook and then started walking close to 9:30.

I feel like it is a lot harder to walk just in my neighborhood.  I stay within my neighborhood and the one across the street when it's dark outside for safety.  I sure don't think anything would happen to me but in the event that it does I'd like to be close to home.

I have got to get some new music on my ipod.  I'm getting tired of the same songs.  I need some new inspiration to keep me going.  Suggestions?

I get started fine, find me a song to get me walkin and then get to a good pace and then start to wind down and look to find that I've only gone 30 minutes!  Ugh, I have to then find me a really good song and talk to that inner skinny girl of mine to keep on walking. 

Tonight I found the strength and the will to keep walking.  I won't go into detail about what kept me walking tonight but I found the fire in me to keep on going.

Just a short little snipet tonight, I'll post my weight any my feelings about my weight tomorrow.

I didn't eat horrible today but I had a few bites of things I probably shouldn't have had. 

I have got to force myself to eat breakfast first thing in the morning so I light that metabolism fire and remind myself to eat small snacks (healthy) during the day before I get super hungry and eat anything and everything in sight (didn't do that today but wanted to).

Off to drink some water and stretch and try to sleep (still having a hard time sleeping).

oh and I was thinking (I know, be careful, I could hurt myself doing that), last year I wanted to start a workout group with the teachers at my school.  I ended up getting pregnant and didn't do it.  I think this year I may do something.  We have a nice walking trail around our playground at school. I might start walking right after school is out and then go pick up my kids and then know that my workout is complete and I can enjoy my family.  When I went on maternity leave, I think they started some walking club... when I came back I heard about it but never really knew what was going on.  Maybe I can be more a part of that if we do that again. It just depends on how the school year starts out.  We have like 8 new teachers this year I think.  Big changes this year for sure!  Looking forward to an interesting year.

Until tomorrow...

Not loosing...

Well I'm a bit frustrated this morning.  I got on the scale and saw 212 today (was 213 and then I checked again and it said 212).  Ugh. I'm not losing.  It makes me so mad when I've done my walking every night and have no results.  Is it because I had those dorittos the other day?  Is it because I had too much sodium the other day?  Whatever it is is making me mad.

Why is it that on days I start the day off right by having my protein shake, that I'm hungry all day?  Then on days that I don't have my protein shake or anything for breakfast I can go until late afternoon and not feel hungry?

I know I need to start the day off right but it sure does feel better to know I've had less calories when I don't have breakfast.  :/

I asked my father-in-law last night about that and he said it's because your metabolism is up and running when you have breakfast and burns off those calories a lot faster than if you skip breakfast.  That sounds about right, is it?

I went for my walk last night and walked for only 45 minutes.  My thoughts were to come in and finish up on my bike... but that didn't happen.  :/

I'm motivated, I'm ready to lose this weight but it seems like there's something deep down inside me that is holding me back. 

Maybe it's because I'm nursing a baby?  Speaking of which... he's screaming for me...

I'm not sure what it is.  But I feel like I'm not going to make huge progress until I get to the bottom of the problem.

Here's a little story and then I'm going to go take a bath. 

We'll title it: The Person Beside me

So I was walking the other night and looked over to see this person beside me and I about jumped out of my skin.  This person was about as big as me, taller, and wearing all black.  I freaked out when I saw this person and then laughed when I realized who it was.  The person beside me was my darn shadow!  Ugh it scared me to death.  Then I got to thinking that the person beside me has been with me every step of the way.  She's there when I hold my head up high and walk my butt off.  She's there when I'm all out of breath and can't take one more step.  :)  I look forward to finding my skinny shadow.

Maybe I'm just all clogged up and that's why I don't see much change on the scale.

But then I really need to look at things.  I started on the 16th weighing in at 218.5.  In less than 2 weeks I have lost around 5.5-6.5 pounds.  That's something to be proud of. 


I was playing around with one of my weight loss tracker apps last night and put in my ultimate goal of 145 pounds.  I put in "aggressive" as far as reaching that goal and it gave me the date "March 21, 2013" as my end date.  That's one day before my birthday.  If I really put my mind to it and get with it I can lose 68 pounds by my birthday and reach my ultimate goal. 

So I've never really set a big ultimate goal before but along with my little goals like getting under 200 and then the 90's and 80's etc... my main goal is finally set and realized.  I have 68 pounds to lose (or 67 if I go with what I weighed in today).  I can do it, I will do it, I'm ready to do it!

How much do you have to lose?  How long are you giving yourself to reach that goal?

OOPS!  I turned the shower on...

until later...

Wednesday, July 25, 2012

oolong tea?

I'm not sure if I mentioned it in another post but I ordered myself some oolong tea.  It is suppose to help boost your metabolism and help burn fat. There's more research to it here.  I'm not good and remembering everything I hear other than, "it's good for you for some reason."

So I got my order last night and made me a pitcher of the tea today.  My first thoughts were- this has a hint of a coffee flavor.  It's like coffee/tea taste.  Then it kinda brought back memories of our hot tea we had at various Chinese places when we were kids.

I added a little lemon to it and drank me a glass.  :)

I'm going to attempt to drink it for a few weeks along with my diet and exercise and see if I notice any fast results.  If not, at least I'm getting my tea fix without the calories (no sugar added).

Time for dinner.  I think tonight I will just have a protein shake and maybe a kashi honey almond flax seed chewy bar later if I get hungry.

I'm about to go nurse the baby and get my workout gear on and go for a walk (if the hubby lets me go again after last night).  :)

Until later...

(is it funny that I'm actually looking forward to going for my walk?)  :)

Yesterday and Today

Let's go back to actually Monday night.  I went walking.  I told Jason to open the tail gate of his car if there was trouble inside and I would stop by.  So I set out to walk with my water in hand.  I went down to the stop light I had turned around at before (and where I told Jason I would turn around and come back) and was feeling good and decided to go farther.  So I ended up walking the whole street down to where I usually use to stop and turn around (takes me about 30 minutes to get there).  So I knew that I had gone about 30 minutes and would have 30 minutes to return home.  YAY!

It was hard about 1/2 home but then I saw what I thought was a friend.  It was starting to get dark and I was super tired.  When I saw what I thought was her, I started walking faster in hopes of maybe catching up.  Well when I finally caught up to her... it was someone else.  BUT! At least that got me walking faster for a while.  :)

I made it back to home and saw both of our vehicle tail gates open!  :O  Uh oh.  I went in to find my husband cleaning out the garage.  He said that Rylan had cried ever since I left.  I went in and nursed that poor baby who wasn't crying by the time I got back.

1 hour!  I finally made it 1 hour!  :)  That felt like a great accomplishment for me this time around.

So that was that for the end of the day.

Now on to yesterday... I started out the day just fine, had my protein shake, took the kids to boingo bounce (a place with a lot of those blow up jumpy things) and stayed there for an hour and a half.  Then went and ate lunch with Jason.  I resisted the temptation of the yummy buttery bread and pasta again and had me a nice salad with grilled chicken, shrimp, capers, and a Tuscan vinaigrette.  Very light and yummy.

I then took the kids to Shave the Planet (shaved ice) and I had a small sugar free peach.  That was fun and good.  It was hot outside but the kids did ok in the shade.

We came home and I put the kids down for a nap.  Then my brain started working.  That fat girl inside me was speaking to me LOUDLY!  I tried to ignore her but ended up giving into temptation.

I ate nacho cheese Doritos!  Ugh!  And then I ate a couple spoon fulls of goober peanut butter and jelly.

:/  Oh well, we make mistakes and move on from them.  I'm not going to dwell on it but I'm sure I put myself back a few days as far as losing weight.

After our nap we got up and got dressed in our swim suits and went swimming with my sister and her kids. I have no problem putting on my swim suit and going in public anymore.  I'm not self conscience of my fat in a swim suit.  I am what I am and I'm a work in progress.  So people can either chose to look or chose to look away.  :)

I bought pizza for the kids and my husband and I ate a little salad with oil and vinegar.  I think I still felt guilty and sick from eating Doritos and goober crap that I didn't eat much for dinner and drank a lot of water.  I got in the pool and moved my body around for maybe 30 minutes (more of less).

Today, I didn't have breakfast (should have forced myself to have a shake) and ate a nice salad and a frozen burrito.

BURRITO!  Yup!  It's on Dr. Oz's list of foods to eat.  :)  Amy's organic cheese burrito with beans and rice.  It's 310 calories, 9g fat, 580mg sodium, and something like 38 carbs (a lot).  So not back for when I go back to school and have a lunch on the go.

Well today I'm attempting to clean out the kids rooms but Lauren is standing here screaming at me so I think that will have to wait until after nap!  I get so sick of hearing her scream!  Why must children get so far under my skin and drive me crazy one minute and then be so super sweet the next?  Frustrating!

Well until we meet again...

Oh and I guess I should put my weight out here so I'll remember: 213 (yup that's what I get for having too much crap yesterday)

Monday, July 23, 2012

Busy Monday

Gonna attempt to make this a quick update post but you know how I like to ramble.  I have go take a shower and get ready, clean the house a little, and go up to the school to help pass out books to incoming kindergarten students.

So yesterday I went out to dinner and resisted the temptation to eat the bread!  Oh the bread that people brag about.  But I didn't take a bite at all!  I had chicken picatta without pasta and a greek side salad (with too much feta cheese but it was yummy).  For lunch yesterday I had a turkeybacon lettuce and tomato with avocado.  That was yummy.  The turkey bacon tasted like fried bologna more than bacon to me.

So over all I had 1300 calories and was over my sodium for the day.  So I knew I would probably not see a change on the scale.  I was right.  I was back up to 212.5. 

I did go walking yesterday morning but it was only for 30 minutes because it was way too hot.  I had planned on walking again that night but it was super late by the time we got home from dinner (which I have GOT to start eating dinner earlier).

I'm going to make myself go walking tonight after dinner.  I hope I can finally make it to 1 hour of walking.

Anyway, that's really all I have time to write right now. 

Until later...

Sunday, July 22, 2012

Day 7 of my journey

Well yesterday was a good day other than the fact that after I got back from my walk I couldn't recover.  I felt like I had been in the sun all day, was super tired, and hungry!

I drank 2 huge things of water and a protein shake.

I eventually had me some lunch: spinach, cherry tomatoes, and tuna with some asian dressing and 5 whole wheat ritz crackers for "croutons."  Not bad but a little dry.  I resisted the temptation to add more dressing.

I didn't eat dinner until 9:30 last night because it took that long for my husband to go get it for me!  I was so weak and tired!  I don't remember chewing my food last night when I did finally eat.

So I weighed in today thinking I would be up because I felt like I had too much sodium yesterday.

I weighed in at 211.5 pounds!  That's 2 more pounds gone, making my grand total so far at 7.5 pounds lost since I started on Monday.  Yippeee!

Are you ready for some TMI?  If not then I'll talk to you later, if so then read on...

So over a month ago I went to the doctor for my check up and got myself an IUD (little thing they put inside that has hormones and is a birth control).  I had talked to a few friends about it and went for it.  Well I was so pissed when I saw my first drop of blood.  I'm nursing a baby so I really shouldn't have my period until he's at least 6 months (that's how it was with my other babies).  Friends said it was probably not my period and probably just some spotting and me getting use to the IUD.  So ok I got over it.  Well I have been bleeding ever since.  It comes and goes but the past few days I have noticed cramps and what appears to be more of a period.  I'm just so darn pissed!  I'm tired of seeing blood.  You see if for like 4-5 weeks after baby.  I had just gotten use to not wearing a pad and now I have to wear one EVERY STINKIN DAY!  I'm gonna call my doctor on Monday and make sure this is normal.  I've read online that it is.  Oh well, at least this will cause my periods to be lighter and they said they may stop after a few months.  And at least I won't have any more babies!

Ok thanks for reading my TMI section.

In other news, I'm tired but I think I may get up and go walking.  It's fairly early and I'm not going back to sleep.

Rylan has been a little fussy (not gassy) and I'm wondering if my milk supply may be going down just a bit.  I'm gonna up my calorie intake just a little and see how that goes for a few days.

I've decided that this go round, I'm not going to do weekly pictures but do them every other week.  So you won't see my results pictures and measurements until next week.  However, I would like to just see if I've lost any inches this week so I may go ahead and do it for this week... we'll see...

and on that note, I must go nurse a fussy baby, and fuss at the oldest child for waking the 2 year old up!  Ugh, so much for my morning walk!  :/

Laters bloggers,

Saturday, July 21, 2012

Working out!

Man I'm sweaty!  I completed my workout today and I'm feeling GREAT!

I started walking about 11:15 this afternoon (I was going to get up earlier but I couldn't seem to get up) and walked for 40 minutes (4,600 steps).  Great way to get a sunburn!  :O  Not sure if I'm burned or if I'm still red from being hot!

I started out great.  I walked my usual old route and got about 1/2 way to my destination and started feeling HOT!  Good thing I brought my water with me (not enough though).  I got to my destination thanks to Michael Jackson and turned around the head back home.  Getting home was hard.  It took all my power to make it back home.  By the time I reached my neighborhood I was hot, unable to really pick my feet up and could barely carry my water bottle.  I made it home and plopped down on the couch and had my hubby (thank you baby) take my shoes off, refill my water (I've already had over 32 oz of water today), and hand me a wet wipe.  What a workout!

I had mixed a free sample of Assault into my water before I started my walk.  I figured it would kick in and help me keep on truckin.  Well it said it would kick in 20-30 minutes... it kicked in about 45 minute later (after I was home)!  So after cooling off and nursing the baby I got up and got on my stationary bike (didn't want to waste the feeling I had).  I rode that for another 40 minutes. 

What a great feeling!  I powered through the pain and kept on truckin!  It is so rewarding to not give up and to power through it and accomplish what you set out to do!!!  GO ME!

Last night I went out to say goodbye to a fantastic teacher and friend.  I had a couple of drinks but didn't overdo it.  I drank 3 huge glasses of water while I was out and did eat a grilled chicken salad (which was just grilled chicken, lettuce, red bell pepper, and some salsa for dressing- smart idea, right?)  :)  The salsa was PERFECT used as a dressing.  I'm going to do that more often.  They did serve it with ranch but I put that to the side and didn't touch it.  Yum yum!

So today I haven't had any soup and I don't think I can.  I think I'm officially cancelling the cabbage soup diet and starting in on my better eating.  I like counting my calories and watching the sodium and carbs and sugars and well everything.  I feel like I have a grasp on healthy eating now and can power through temptations.

Time for a shower cause this fat girl can sweat!  :)

Until next time...

Friday, July 20, 2012

Day 4 of cabbage soup diet (round 2) BLEH!

I don't wanna do it anymore!  I could barely stomach 1 bowl yesterday.  I guess I'll try to keep it up but I may just start into by lifestyle eating of low everything diet (low fat, low sugar, low sodium, low calories) and high fiber, protein diet. Today is banana and milk day!

I was down 1 1/2 pounds today, weighing in at 213.  So that brings my grand total lost since Monday to (drum roll please), 5.5 pounds lost forever. I'm sure a lot (or most) of what I lost was water weight but you gotta start somewhere, right?  :P

I didn't sleep good last night at all.  That's night 2 of no sleep and I'm exhausted!  My legs are sore and I couldn't get comfy.  The minute I did I had to take care of children.  Lauren decided to take her diaper off some time last night and woke up soaking wet and freezing cold.  So I had to change her sheets and clean her up at 2 am.  It was actually quite funny watching her walk around, she was stumbling like her daddy does when he first gets up.  She's still asleep (it's after 10am).  Then right as that happened, Rylan woke up to nurse!  YAY!  I love that.  I miss him when he's asleep.  I know that's silly but I think because he is my last baby that I soak up maybe more of his sweetness.

OH MY GOODNESS CONNER!  Why must children get under my skin so early in the morning.  He usually gets up on his own in the morning and watches cartoons or plays video games.  Lately he has decided to also make himself breakfast.  I've got to teach him what breakfast is because he's had like 5 of those pop ice popsicles!  That's not a good way to start the day!  I told him to go grab a banana! 

So sad about the shooting in Colorado today.  My goal today is to hug and play with my children.  I will make more of an effort to smile when I'm around them and not let them get under my skin so much!  They are just children. 

OH! I put the stationary bike inside last night.  I rode it for a little before I had to get off and nurse the baby.  I think I'll go ride that and watch the news and drink my protein shake. :)

Until next time...

Thursday, July 19, 2012

Babies, Boobies, and Dr. OZ

Congrats to a friend who just had her first little bundle of joy.  What is it about people having babies that make me want another child?  I've got 3 already (one only a few months old) and I can't stand 2 of them most of the time.  Probably it's that feeling of newness, being in the hospital, that first cry.  Maybe it just brings back the memories of all my children being born.  So happy for first time mommies because I can relate to that feeling they are having.  It is such a joy to bring a child into this world.  It does get rough but to look at the child and know that I created that (well with the help of my husband) is so amazing.... anyway, enough mushy gushy.

I attempted to go walking this evening so I could escape the house (husband doesn't complain if I go walking and he has to deal with the kids) and because I was basically having a meltdown from being around my children who refused to take a nap and were screaming and yelling and fighting ALL DARN DAY! (ok I'm over it, don't want anymore children!)

I went around the block once and passed by a house where people were sitting outside (hmmm not sure why? It was like 100000 degrees outside) and looked down to watch my boobs just bounce (I'm not running, just walking).  Oops, crazy lady should have maybe put on a bra (I was just wearing my nursing tank).  Then I started thinking- my spandex outfit (oh you know the one) doesn't fit my boobs!  Probably because they are milky milky boobs and probably because I've gained a ton of weight! So I can't wait to lose some weight and fit back into my spandex (who knew you could be too big for something STRETCHY!)

Anyway, on to my last post part: Dr. Oz.  Darn you Dr. Oz! Oh and the Doctors (that young doctor is pretty hot!).  I ordered me some cacao powder and oolong tea because the Doctors said it helps boost your metabolism.  We shall see.  I like tea and I like chocolate so this couldn't be too bad.  I wanted to order more and more things but alas I have no money (bought a van to fit the family- another reason I DON'T WANT MORE CHILDREN- though another child would fit in the van).

But back to Dr. Oz- I watched 1/2 of his show tonight (ANOTHER REASON NOT TO HAVE ANOTHER CHILD! you can't ever seem to finish a show) and he was talking about the 99 foods to have or to buy that are quick and easy and healthy for a dieter.  So I will be taking his little (it's actually not little, there are 99 things on there) list and highlighting some of the items on there and hit the store (when I don't have 3 children to take with me, so who knows when that will happen). 

I think I'll attempt his diet for the next few weeks and see how that goes.  It looks like it will flow right into the cabbage soup diet ending....

Speaking of the cabbage soup diet- I haven't had one bowl of soup today!  I can't force myself to eat it.  I'm hungry right now but really have no appetite for anything. 

Today I ate:
Breakfast: Whey Protein shake (no clumps this time)
Lunch: Bag of broccoli stir fry mix with a little Newman's own dressing (which Dr. Oz mentioned on his show today too!), a little ground turkey in it too.
Dinner: 1 filet of tilapia with Mrs. Dash lemon pepper and brown rice (like a couple of spoon fulls), and some mixed steamed veggies (which were also mentioned on Dr. Oz today!) oh and a taste of my lemon butter caper sauce (yummy)

That's it and I haven't really been hungry.  I remember it being this way the last time I started my diet.

I think the problem is that I like to snack for no reason.  So now that I'm conscience of what I'm putting in my mouth and accountable for all of it, I just don't have the desire to snack.

I am starting to feel hungry so I think I might go fix me a bowl of soup or eat some frozen fruit (yeah that sounds yummy).

Laters, baby... :P

Coffee grinds, stretch marks, and a slip in slide!

So I watched Dr. Oz yesterday and he was talking about ways to get rid of cellulite.  This reminded me of something my friend had pinned about stretch marks and making your own stretch mark stuff.

So I got the bright idea to make my own.  I saw somewhere online about using coffee grinds and olive oil to make a paste.  So I got out some Vanilla coffee I had that we weren't going to use and some olive oil and put it in a jar and mixed it up.  It smells yummy...

Then I got in the shower and started scrubbing myself with the paste.  First thing I noticed is how messy this was going to be.  Then I started noticing how I was sliding around in the shower!  UH OH!  Darn it, I shouldn't have used olive oil, maybe just water with the coffee (next time I'll do that).  The shower was now covered (and my body) with coffee grinds and olive oil that wouldn't wash away like I have envisioned it happening.

I let it soak in as good as I could (great exfoliater and moisturizer) and had to cut that short because all 3 children wanted my attention (of course).  I attempted to wash this off (I now have a bar of soap that looks like vanilla bean ice cream) and had to clean the shower (which needed to be clean anyway) fast!

So my thoughts on the coffee olive oil cellulite or stretch mark paste?- will do it again in a few days because my skin feels exfoliated and smooth. (might leave out the olive oil next time!)

Now to deal with the 2 year old who decided to take her diaper off!!!!  and scream about it!  Can we say NAP TIME!

Until we meet again... 

Day 3 of the cabbage soup diet (round 2) and other thoughts

So today starts day 3 of the cabbage soup diet.  I ended yesterday well.  I had dinner and then I didn't snack at all before going to bed.

I weighed in this morning at 214.5.  A loss of 4 pounds so far!  :)

For dinner I had a bowl of soup followed by a side salad with lettuce, spinach, tomatoes, green onion, a bit of purple onion, and a light Newman's Own asian dressing (very tasty for only 35 calories).  I had a baked potato with a little country crock and Mrs. Dash.  I was super full after all of that.  I drank more water yesterday and had lemon in my water.

So I stayed at about 1000 calories and felt fine.  So far, no problems with the baby nursing or my milk supply.

Yesterday's goal was to do some kind of exercise.  At 9:00pm I had not completed my goal yet.  I couldn't get the bike in the house, so I put on my shoes, got my ipod and went for a WALK!  I think I left at maybe 9:30 and got done at 10:13.

The first time around the block was easy and I even ran a little (well what I think is running may be more like dragging my feet and flopping up and down).  The second time around the block was a little harder.  Then by round 3 I was ready to give up... but then a song came on... don't feel like saying which Prince song it was... and I got my mojo back and kept walking.  I went around for the 4th time and saw that I had only taken 3700 steps.  So I kept going again for the 5th time around.  I ended up stopping after that and I had taken almost 5000 steps.  Good enough for my first time back out.  I wanted to be able to do it again the next day, so I went inside.

I felt so good (and so sweaty) about walking.  It brought back so many happy thoughts.  Some of the songs reminded me of when I was on my last journey.  I am looking forward to going again tonight!!!  I wish I could go during the day but I'm not about to take 3 kids with me.  I'm going to have to get out there earlier tonight because I couldn't sleep at all last night.  My body was too awake and I tossed and turned!

So I'm glad I set a goal yesterday and I'm glad I blogged about it because I knew I would have to come back out here and update this and I sure didn't want to have to say I DIDN'T reach my goal.

So set yourself a goal today.  Today my goal is 2 parts.  1.  Drink 6-8 glasses or more of water!  2.  Walk for 1 hour!

Until next time...

Oh and the cabbage soup- is making me a bit gassy!  :P

Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Goals and I'm losing my mind!

So I feel that setting small attainable goals work for me (most of the time).  Today's goal is to do some kind of workout.  I haven't done anything as far as working out on this round of losing weight and I think it's time!

So tonight, I'm going to get that darn stationary bike inside in the living room, sit my fat butt on it, and watch BIG BROTHER while I bike!  :)  I may put it in the kitchen and bike while I cook... jk.

I can't seem to get my butt up and going but I sure can pinterest and take notes on Dr. Oz about healthy eating and exercises.

Today I learned a few tips on boosting your metabolism.... though I can't remember what they are right now (I did take notes but they are in the other room, is that me being lazy?). 

I guess I need to do some things to help boost my memory too!  I have a hard time even remembering the simple things like how I told myself I was going to get up early and take me an ADD pill and get my butt moving!  I didn't get started actually cleaning until late morning (close to 11).  But at least I did like 5 loads of laundry so far.  That's a good thing for my memory!  Remembering that I was doing laundry.  I tend to forget and then it takes me twice as long!

I guess my blog posts are going to be short because right when I get started I have a child that either runs up and starts talking to me or wants to be fed or needs their butt wiped.  Oh the joys of being a parent.

I was going to say something else...but of course, I forgot (oh the joys of having children, they take all your smarts and memory!).

And on that note, I must go nurse one upset baby and get onto the older child for making him upset!

Until we fart again... meet again...

Day 2 of Cabbage Soup Diet (round 2)

Woke up this morning and weighed myself.  Down to 215.5.  Lost 3 pounds... of water!  :P

Our power went out last night for 2 hours!  That sucked because I was so bored that all I could think about was food.  I had a hard time not giving in to my fat girl.  She kept craving McDonalds and sugar!  But I did good.  I did eat a few snacks before going to bed but it was an apple, some tomatoes, a little cheese (bad), a handful of pretzels (bad), and some frozen fruit.  So I'm happy with myself.  I didn't even eat any of the spaghetti or garlic bread last night!

This morning I got up and had me a protein shake.  I hate when you drink a shake and find a chunk of powder in it!  Ugh!  Bleh!

Feeling hungry now so I think its time for my first bowl of soup and then some stir fry veggies for lunch.  Today is the veggie day.  I'll probably throw in some ground turkey for a little added protein.

Well it's time to nurse the baby (no gassiness for him yet) and clean off all the oatmeal on the 2 year old!

I'll update later today with more about this round of the cabbage soup diet.

Until later...

Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Cabbage soup diet- day 1 (round 2)

I was going back through my last year's experience with the cabbage soup diet and so far I'm feeling about the same as I was. 

I have had 2 bowls of the soup today.  I did drive around Chick fil a and get me a grilled chicken sandwich and a large thing of fruit and only ate the fruit and chicken (no bun or anything else). 

For breakfast I drank me a protein shake (not a part of the soup diet)
For lunch I had chick fil a chicken and fruit (chicken not on the soup diet)
For a snack I had me a bowl of soup, 3 clementines, and a handful of yucky blueberries (kinda mealy?)
For dinner tonight I'm heating up leftover spaghetti and garlic bread!  NOT FOR ME!  Ugh it's gonna be hard not to eat that bread! 
For dinner for me I'm having .... drum roll please.... SOUP!  lol.  I think I'm going to cook some ground turkey to go in it as a little added protein.

So really, I'm not doing the cabbage soup diet to the T at all.  I'm just adding protein to each day.

Tomorrow is veggie day and I bought me some baby spinach for a salad (or I may heat it up in my soup) and some frozen veggies for a stir fry.  I'll probably stick to having a protein shake for breakfast.

I'm sure you all want to read such boring information but I like journaling.  It was great to read back my thoughts and feelings from last year.

Bathroom news!  WOOHOO! The interesting info:

PEEING A LOT.  I said that last year and I'll say it again, I'm getting rid of a lot of water weight.  My way of eating before deciding to diet was loaded with sodium so I'm sure my body has a lot of water to get rid of.

And we'll leave the poop part out this go round.  I'm sure you don't want to know about all of that crap. :P

So far, Rylan hasn't been fussy yet with any gas from me having the cabbage. 

So that's all the news I have for day 1.  I'm gonna go call my husband and see if he will bring me home some fruit!  :)

Until we meet again...

Cabbage soup is on

So this morning I woke up and made my soup.  Mmm sure does bring back memories.  :P  I added zuchini to it this time and used V8 juice instead of regular tomato juice.  Looking forward to trying some after it's all cooked for a few hours.

I woke up this morning and weighed myself.  I was at 217.  Down 1.5 pounds.  :P  I'm sure it is just because I weighed earlier than I did yesterday.

I didn't work out yesterday but I felt like I had after going grocery shopping and pushing 2 children and groceries and carrying Rylan in the moby wrap.

I got hungry last night and food consumed my mind!  I could think of all the things I bought for my kids and the one thing that kept coming back in my mind was the goober peanut butter and jelly!  I couldn't get it out of my mind and I knew that I would try to eat other things until finally giving in and having some.  So I gave myself a little teaspoon of the stuff and moved on.  I ended up eating a yogurt (activia light) and some carrots and tomatoes and felt satisfied and went to bed.

I had my protein shake (gonna add another scoop next time) for breakfast and haven't had lunch yet.

I know this is going to be a hard first week of shrinking my stretched out stomach so I've got to power through the hunger pains.  Most of the pains are in my head anyway.

I plan to get my exercize bike in the living room again and ride it today.

......... (nursing the baby now be back later to finish)

After nursing the baby, feeding the other children, doing some laundry, and watching Anderson the soup is ready.  :)

Time to go grab me a bowl of cabbage soup.  Yum yum!

Until next time...

(thank you to all my friends who have already started cheering me on, you don't know how much that means to me! It helped me from eating the whole dang jar of goober peanut butter and jelly last night!)

Monday, July 16, 2012

The dreaded before pictures!

Ugh!  I don't want to do this.  I don't want to look at what I've become.  But in order to move forward I've got to look at the truth.  So here goes!  Please don't judge me.  This is hard to put out here for everyone to see.  I may not go walking in the neighborhood until it's dark tonight!

So here's the front.  Enough said.

Here's my back side.  Ugh!
And here's the side shot!  AHHH!  My belly is huge and my boobs don't fit in this shirt (I am nursing a baby).

Here's a close up of my face.  I couldn't open my eyes because it was too bright but my eyes won't get any smaller so that's ok. 
I'm disappointed in myself but I've got to get over it and start working towards becoming a better me.  So there I am, back in my spandex ready to tackle the world. 

Today I did good eating.  Well, I didn't have breakfast because I didn't know what to eat and I didn't have my protein stuff yet.

Lunch: taco salad with grilled chicken, no sour cream, no cheese, and didn't eat the taco bowl (from Flying Burrito), and water.
Snack: a handful of gardetto's rye chips and some little tomatoes
Dinner: Spaghetti with whole grain pasta (with lean ground beef and some italian sausage).  Maybe 2 cups worth and no seconds.
Let's hope I can make it through the night without snacking.  And if I do, I'll just grab some more tomatoes and some carrots.

Tomorrow starts my modified version of the cabbage soup diet (added protein).  I'm basically going to eat the soup any time I feel like snacking and add some chicken or ground turkey to it and eat fresh fruits and veggies.

Ok, enough for tonight.  Time to... get ready to go walking after I put the kids to bed and it gets dark!

Until next time...

Measurements and Weight (comparison)

7/28/11 Measurements and Weight 181
  • Waist: 37"
  • Hips: 42"
  • Chest: 39"
  • Neck: 13"
  • Leg: 23"

7/16/12 Measurements and Weight 218.5
  • Waist: 46.25"
  • Hips: 48.5"
  • Chest: 45.5"
  • Neck: 15.5"
  • Leg: 25.5"
  • Arm: 14.5" 
Well here are the results above.  I couldn't find my measuring tape so I used ribbon and then measured it... so they might not be spot on today.  I'll do it again tonight after going to the store and see if there was any change.

Let's compare

This time last year I weighed 181.  I now weigh 218.5.  A gain of  37.5 pounds. 
Waist: gain of 9.25"
Hips: gain of  6.5"
Chest: gain of 6.5"
Neck: gain of 2.5"
Leg: gain of 2.5"

EYE OPENER!  I wish I had my measurements from when I first started my journey to see how much more I've gone up since beginning last time.

I've got a lot of work to do but it is quite exciting to think about re-measuring myself in 2 weeks to see the loss!  Something to look forward to.

Slept in this morning (thank you children).  Now it's after 10am and I've gotta go nurse the baby and get children dressed and ready so we can go grocery shopping. 

I'm not sure if I'm going to start the cabbage soup diet today or wait until tomorrow.  I'm going to start counting my calories for sure today and maybe do some zumba on the wii (if Conner will let me, he's been hooked to the XBOX360 today).  :)

Questions for the day (comment below if you want):
1.  How often do you weigh yourself?
2.  Do you measure yourself?  If so, what do you measure that I'm not.
3.  What do you eat/drink for breakfast?

Until we meet again...  (probably later tonight once I put on my spandex and take the dreaded before pictures) :)

Sunday, July 15, 2012

Tomorrow's the next chapter in my weightloss journey!

I have laid around for the past few days sleeping the day away and thinking about how I hate my body right now.  So enough is enough.

TOMORROW- July 16th 2012 starts round 2 in my journey towards finding my inner skinny girl.

How am I going to start?  First of all, I'm breastfeeding and have read online many different places that the cabbage soup diet should not be done while breastfeeding.  So, here's what I'm going to do with that diet.  It worked for me in jumpstarting me into eating better last time so I know it will work this time.  But things will have to be different.  I'm going to add 40grams (I think that's right) of protein to this diet and add a few more healthy calories for the baby.  I don't want this to affect my milk supply so if I see that it is then I will up the calories a little.

One of my main.. ok 2 of my main problems right now are: 1.  Eating CRAP throughout the day and 2. SUGAR!  I'm going to stop drinking sweet tea and cokes and drink more water.

I might add in a little fruit juice to my water for flavor but NO more drinking Dr. Pepper's and Sunny D and sweet tea!

I'm going to get back to counting my calories and making note of everything I put in my mouth!

I am going to do it this time!  I'm ready.  I think I laid around the past few days feeling sorry for myself and dwelling on the fact that I've gained a TON of weight since losing it all the last time.

That will just make my journey even more exciting, more weight to lose, more muscle to gain, more pictures to post.  :)

So tomorrow I will dust off my old spandex and take a "before" picture once again.  I will honestly post my weight every week and I will take results pictures.  Oh and like my good friend Lori told me to do, I will take my measurements too!

I really think blogging and taking pictures helped me lose the weight I lost before getting pregnant.  I don't think I could have done it without my blog stalkers and friends constantly cheering me on.

So hello ninja blender, hello cabbage soup, hello whey protein, hello bicycle, hello dusty old tennis shoes, hello pink iPod nano, hello scale, and hello SPANDEX!  It's time to say goodbye to the fat and hello to the skinny!


And on that note, let's think about goals.  I'll round up a couple of pounds and say I weight 220 pounds (ugh that's hard to admit, that's the most I have EVER weighed! Actually right before baby was born I weighed 231 making it a grand total of 50 pounds gained with baby number 3)

So, if my first mini goal is to be under 200 pounds, that would be about 20 pounds to lose which could take me about 2 months?  Could I do it in 1 month if I put my mind to it and really worked my tail off?

I'll try.  So I would like to be under 200 pounds by August 16th.

Then my next goal will be to be out of the 190's.  I'll set that after I reach my first goal.

Tomorrow I'll post my measurements and weight and clothing size and pictures.  Looking forward to grocery shopping tonight!  :)

Until we meet again...

Saturday, July 14, 2012

Where has the inner skinny girl gone?

My inner skinny girl is burried deep inside me and every now and then she talks to me... but lately it's hard to hear her. 

I'll admit it.  Yes I had a baby 3 months ago but I gained over 50 pound with this pregnancy.  Pre-pregnancy weight was 184 I think (maybe less).  I ended this pregnancy at 230 I think (maybe a little more or less).

Rylan is now 3 months old and I've only lost about 10-12 pounds.  That's basically the weight of the baby and all the other stuff.

I eat like a crazy woman!  I eat a meal and then turn around and eat a snack.  I'm hungry all the time. ALL THE TIME! 

I am breastfeeding and know I need extra calories but not as much as I'm taking in!

Right now as I type about food it makes me want to get up and eat something.

Something has to change.  I keep telling myself that when Rylan is done breastfeeding then I'll start working out and losing weight.  That's silly, that's almost a year away. 

So I have got to dig deep into myself and find that skinny girl who is unable to really speak to me because she is surrounded by fat. 

I'm back to my size 18.  I was almost down to a 12.  I'm back to stretching out my size XL to make it work.  I HATE MY BODY right now. 

And to make matters worse, I wish I was enjoying my children but right now I can't stand to be around the older 2.  They are loud, they behave terrible, and make me want to scream (and I do at times).  I'm trying to sit here and type and all my oldest child wants to do is make annoying sounds, ask me a question over and over and over and get right up in my face.  Why must MY children be so annoying?  I'm ready to go back to work (not ready to leave Rylan yet though).

The house is a mess and I can't seem to declutter the crap.  I had a garage sale a couple of weekends ago and I thought I was getting rid of a lot... but there is still crap all over the house!

I need a big life change.  I need to clean the house, train my children, and lose weight.  I need my life to be in order.  I'm tired of all the chaos and crap!  But in order to do that, I need to find the strength within me to get my butt up and work on changing my life. I'm not sure I have the strength right now.  I just feel like taking a nap and forgetting the fact that I'm fat, the house is a mess, and my children are hard to be around.

I shouldn't feel this way.  I should want to be around my children, want to feel better about myself and enjoy living in my house!  DARN IT! 

And on that note, Rylan is wanting to nurse and the kids have finished their oatmeal and are screaming for more!


Tuesday, May 1, 2012


I have been neglecting the blogging world!  I have had my baby boy on March 29th. We named him Rylan Lee Hall.  He weighed 6 pounds 7 ounces.  He was two weeks early.  I was shocked and relieved when I realized I was in labor.  I wrote the whole story down but it's on a different computer.  I will post the story when I get it.  :)  He's perfect and so darn sweet I just kiss him all over and soak up his sweet babiness.  I think because THIS IS MY LAST I soak it all up, take in every second with him.

I feel like I've neglected my other 2 children because I'm constantly nursing and holding this baby. 

I go back to work next week and I'm super depressed about leaving him.  I don't want to think about it but at least it's only for a couple of weeks and then I'll be out for the summer.

I gained about 50 pounds during this pregnancy and have lost about 20.  I have a long way to go now to get back to where I was.  I'm not ready to start but I'm ready to start...

I am so stinking hungry all the time and when there is like nothing in the house to eat I tend to eat crap!  So I've got to get back to eating better.  It's hard to haul 3 children to the store to buy food so I make do with what I have in the house or what my husband brings home when he goes to the store.

I'm not going to say I'm disappointed in myself for gaining weight.  I am sad that I gained so much but I will get it off.  This summer I plan to work my tail off.

What's hard is that I'm nursing and I want to jump start back into healthy eating and calorie counting by doing the cabbage soup diet again but I can't do that while I'm nursing, not enough caloric intake.  I'm sure I could modify it but I'd rather do it by the book. 

So I'm kinda at a loss right now on what to do or how to get started.  I'm sure working out would be great!  I just have to find the time and energy to do it.  Having a month old who doesn't sleep the night makes it hard to stay awake the whole day.  But my body is getting use to no sleep so we shall see.

Here I am about 36 weeks. One of the last pictures of me while pregnant.
Rylan Lee Hall  :)  

This is one of my favorite pictures!  Here is Conner seeing Rylan for the first time.  He's so proud and has been every day.  He is protective and wants to kiss him all the time. 

 Sweet baby Lauren seeing BABY.  She was excited for a couple of minutes and then that was that.  Every now and then she realizes that there is another baby in the house.

 My precious baby boy.

Sunday, January 15, 2012

The Hunger Games and a Harmonica...

Jan 3rd was my last blog post?  Where does the time go? 

I hope to update out here at least once a week!  :O

I haven't done all that great in the past couple of weeks.   I haven't worked out, haven't watched what I eat, haven't done CRAP! 

Well, I guess I can count keeping my bedroom and bathroom and kitchen clean (for the most part) is doing something.  I need to get up in a few minutes and work on cleaning a bit before the week starts and things pile up on me.  Maybe put on some ABBA or Michael Jackson for a little motivation.

I know what has caused me to lose focus just a bit!  I started reading THE HUNGER GAMES!  I had no idea what I was getting into.  The last series of books I've read was the Twilight books... so it's been a while.  I tend to obsess when I read and for some reason I feel like I can't put the darn book (or my ipad) down to do other things I should be doing?  I read the first book in 2 days, the second one took me a week (off and on) and now I'm halfway through the 3rd and final book in the series.  I won't say I loved the books but I can say that if I don't put a book down, it must be good.  I say that about movies too.  If I don't fall asleep through a movie, it must be good.

Oh and man I can't wait for the movie!  Comes out the day after my birthday!  

What shall I read next?  I don't want to get into a series that has like 14 different books.  I don't think I'd ever get anything done again! 

I tried the Janet Evonavich books.  Read 1/2 through the first book.

Maybe another vampire book?  But who can compare to Edward?

Speaking of Edward.  I'm trying to come up with a name for this 3rd child of mine.  I'm at a loss.  There are NO names that hit me as an option right now.  I will admit that I haven't done much into looking for a name but the ones people suggest, I just don't feel. 

I'm in my 3rd and final trimester and am starting to ache and feel like CRAP again.  My back pain is terrible! 

Anyway, I don't feel like complaining and I have a crazy 4 year old blowing his harmonica in my ear!  Why the heck I thought a harmonica was a good idea is beyond me!  Ugh.

Until we meet again, I'm off to chase my child around the house and confiscate his harmonica!

Tuesday, January 3, 2012


NO!  I am not a hoarder... am I?

Today I cleaned... got a TON done (thanks to my mom for coming over to help) but there is still plenty more to do.  Basically in the hours I worked today we managed to get my bedroom looking more like a bedroom (still have cluttered bookshelves filled to the max), bathroom clean (still need to clean out the drawers and cabinets), the kitchen (still need to organize stuff and get rid of stuff I don't use), and loads of laundry done.

I feel like we put a big dent in this house but there is so much clutter and crap!

I wash SHOCKED and embarrassed for my mom to come in and pick up trash and crap just basically everywhere you look.  I think we took out over 10 bags of trash just out of our bedroom and bathroom.  YUCK!

At what point do you consider this hoarding?  I don't have a problem throwing it away... eventually I get to it.  I think what happens is I give myself every excuse in the book and tell myself that I can do it tomorrow but when tomorrow comes I say the same thing and then over and over until finally I can't live in the house anymore and something has to be done.  Why do I do this?  Why not just think about each day as special and getting things done and clean?  Why is it always "tomorrow?"

I feel like that's how I became fat too.  "Oh, tomorrow I'll eat better.  Tomorrow I'll work out.  I'm too tired today, I'll do better tomorrow.  Tomorrow, TOMORROW, TOMORROW!"  Ugh.
I need to stop living in the future and live in the NOW.


I have no system for organization of any kind.  Ok, the silverware has a place and so do the pots and pans and plates and glasses... but really?  My mom was asking me, "Where does this go?" all day long and all I could say was "I don't know."

Everything should have a place.

Children's clothes don't have a place because I have been unable to sort through the old ("I'll do it tomorrow, right") and make room for the clothes that do fit.  There is no way I can keep doing what I'm doing when I have another child!

There is just so much crap to sort through, not enough room in this house, and not enough time in the day to get it all done.

So I'm trying.  I'm really going to try to get myself, my life, my family, organized and KEEP IT UP!

No more, I'll get it done tomorrow, but now, what can I do today?  What will I do today?  What have you done TODAY?

(now for the song for you to come forward and repent, I feel like I'm preaching or something).

Anyway, my goal for the next few weeks, months, years, is to live in the NOW and not in the future.  Live today, not tomorrow.

Dear Blogging World...

Dear blogging world,

Oh how I've missed you these past few months.  It's a new year now and that means new resolutions and stuff.  I was reflecting on last year and was super proud of the fact that I lost 30 pounds (give or take) this past year.  I am looking forward to getting back into a work out routine and losing more weight in the coming year... come April when I have this baby. 

I'm thinking about jumping back in and watching what I eat more.  I haven't been good AT ALL these past few months since becoming pregnant with baby number 3.  I have GOT to start watching what I eat and I really should get back out and walk... even if it is slow and with a waddle. 

It amazes me to see people who I inspired to get up off of their butt and do something.  Me?  Inspiring?  Makes last year a special year for sure.  I'm so proud of the people that I might have put that spark into to get healthy and lose weight.

I'm ready to come back and start blogging more.  Hopefully by coming back, I can put that spark back into my life.  Who says you have to stop what you're doing when you get pregnant?  Well... apparently the fat girl hiding inside got real excited to learn we were pregnant and took over the skinny girl trying to come out.  I hate to admit how much I've gained back... so I won't yet.

So HELLO my blog stalkers.  Prepare to stalk and be stalked again by ME!  It's time to get out of this funk and get my shoes back on and walk.  :)

Oh and it's a BOY!  :0

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