Sunday, July 14, 2013

I can see clearly now...

I'm coming back out of my funk and seem to be feeling much better.  Throat is still a bit sore... but other than that I'm feeling normal.

I was able to get more of the lunch shake down today.  I peeled the apple and cucumber so it wasn't as bad of a texture.

I know I've probably lost a lot of water weight but heck, I guess I was holding onto a lot of water weight too.

Weight was down (as mentioned earlier) to 169 this morning. 

That means my total weight loss is up to 49.5 pounds.  I'm just a half pound away from having lost 50 pounds!

I was looking back at some pictures on facebook and kept asking Jason, "Do I look like this now?  Does my face look like this?"  He kept saying, "No, it's much skinnier now."

I don't really know what I look like... does that make sense?

I do know that the other day when I was getting the kids happy meals at McDonald's I looked at my reflection in the window and didn't get discusted!  I was actually happy with what I saw looking back at me.

I can see the skinny girl more now than the fat girl looking at me.  I see a happy girl in the window now.  I don't see a sad depressed fat girl who can't stand to look at herself.

What a great feeling that is!  WHAT A GREAT FEELING THAT IS!

I get a little giddy inside thinking about how much closer I am to reaching my goal.  Really, I haven't had a goal in mind... or an ultimate goal but I've kinda set it at 145.  Or, to be in a size 8 maybe? 6?  But I don't know what weight is gonna put me there and what I'll look like when I get there.

My ultimate goal I guess is to be completely happy and satisfied with my body.  To be able to look at myself in the mirror naked and like what I see.

Not sure when that's going to happen.  But I'm getting closer.

My belly still pooches out but it doesn't hang over anymore.  I don't wear my pants under that belly flap anymore.  I'm almost comfortable tucking in a shirt and being able to see my belt!!!

I can't remember when the last time I was able to see my belt!  HA!

I know I've said these things already a lot but I still get shocked every time I step on the scale and I don't see a number starting with a 2!

I asked Conner today how much he thought I weighed (because he was proud that he gained a pound today) and he said "184."  CLOSE!  Ha!  It seems like just yesterday I was 184.  :)

I am for sure out of the 80's and not 100% sure I'm out of the 70's yet but there's hope!  Seeing that 6 there today was so exciting!  :)

So bring on the 60's.  Let's hope they go quickly!

Here are some pictures...

May 2010- 3 months after Lauren was born

May 2010- After Lauren was born.

Sept. 2010- 7 months after Lauren was born.

July 2011- When I first lost weight- got down to 184 I think.

March 30, 2013- Starting to lose some weight.
Wedding day- I can't remember how much I weighed then.

Senior Year of highschool- 1999- would love to be that skinny again- 115ish size 0-4?!

Fun to walk down memory lane every now and then... back to the reality now... screaming children!  Ugh!

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